


Swept Away

by critterdee_67, JenSpinner



Series: The Collective Works of Jen & Dee [3]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Animals, Anxiety, Blood, Children, Crying, Death, DestielFFPrompt, Family, Fear, Feelings, Flashbacks, Flirting, Happy Ending, Holidays, Horror, Hospitals, Humor, Hurt/Comfort, Illnesses, Injury, Loss, Love, M/M, Men Crying, Natural Disasters, Pain, Panic, Pining, Protectiveness, Sad, Smut, Survival, Tension, Thailand, Tragedy, Trauma, dadstiel, friendships, tsunami
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-05
Updated: 2020-08-10
Packaged: 2021-03-05 02:34:37
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 32,697
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25096933
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/critterdee_67/pseuds/critterdee_67, https://archiveofourown.org/users/JenSpinner/pseuds/JenSpinner
Summary: In December, close-knit family Castiel, Dean, and their children, Claire and Jack begin their winter vacation in Thailand. But on Christmas, the idyllic holiday turns into an incomprehensible nightmare when a terrifying roar rises from the depths of the sea, followed by a wall of black water that devours everything in its path. Though Castiel and his family face their darkest hour, unexpected displays of kindness and courage ameliorate their terror.
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Series: The Collective Works of Jen & Dee [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1874203
Comments: 59
Kudos: 80





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is a work of fiction loosely based on the film and true story "The Impossible" (2012)  
> We have dramatized it for the sake of our story and to add more tension - not to take away from what actually happened.  
> We also offer our deepest sympathies to anyone who was either directly or indirectly affected by the real-life events that feature in our story.
> 
> A very special thanks goes out to coffeeandcas for beta'ing this work for us. <3  
> 

“Next time can we _please_ pick somewhere we can get to on a ship?” 

Castiel reaches out to squeeze Dean’s hand and offers him a comforting smile and nod before turning to their youngest and brushing his fringe away from his face. Jack, it seemed, did not share the same fear of flying as his dad and was sleeping soundly in the seat next to his papa, Castiel. 

“It’s going to be fine,” soothes Castiel, turning back to Dean once he is certain that their son is asleep, “besides, I recall that it was you who suggested Thailand.” 

“And right now, I am regretting that decision,” grumbles Dean, as he grabs the armrest on his seat and grips onto it tightly. The plane shakes slightly as it hits some turbulence and Dean’s knuckles turn white as he clutches onto the armrest for purchase. Dean looks back at Cas and manages an unconvincing smile, “how long until we land?”

“I think another hour or so, thereabouts.” says Cas sympathetically as he glances at his watch, “Why don’t you try and get some sleep?” 

Dean shakes his head, “Can’t sleep.” He glances to his left and smiles down at their daughter Claire, who had her headphones on and was absorbed in some handheld video-game contraption thing that Dean had no idea how to use. He looks past her and out of the plane window, they were somewhere high above the South China Sea now, his face paling, he turns away from the window and looks back at Castiel. 

It used to be that when they traveled Dean would always sit in the aisle seat (away from the window), but now that they have children - a miracle he barely believes is real some days - things are different. Jack is much more likely to need the toilet during the flight than Claire and since Dean is always glued to his seat from take-off to landing, Castiel will have to be the one to go to the toilet with their son. Castiel had also taken into account when booking that Dean hates flying and made sure he was seated next to him just in case he began to get worked up. Which left Claire with the window seat, something which, luckily, she seemed to be very pleased about.

Castiel wishes he could just take away Dean’s resounding fear of flying, he wishes he knew the perfect words to say to him to displace those deeply rooted concerns, instead he settles for placing his hand on top of Dean’s where it was digging into the armrest. Then he turns to his husband and lowers his voice, hoping his tone will help calm Dean, “I’m right here, we are fine. We’re going to have an amazing family holiday and nothing is going to happen, alright?”

Dean nods shakily and takes a deep breath, before he repeats, “Nothing is going to happen.” 

*

They had worked hard and saved for two years for their family vacation. It was a dream they had talked about ever since Jack joined their happy family: a fun holiday with the kids - when both would be old enough to enjoy it. They are traveling to stay a fortnight in Thailand and have an amazing suite booked in a beautiful beachside resort. Everything about this vacation is outside of their normal routine back home, in Kansas, but it will be worth it to have the memories and to see the kids enjoying a special Christmas on the beach. 

Castiel and Dean had been together for almost three years (and were ‘disgustingly in love’ according to Sam) before they ever talked about having kids. Finding out that they both wanted children had been a huge relief for each of them and they had then quickly started talking about how that might work. Claire and Jack have the same surrogate mother, Kelly Kline. Claire, who has recently turned eleven, is Dean’s biological daughter and Jack, who will be celebrating his seventh birthday in a couple of months, is Castiel’s biological son but it makes no difference to the dynamic of their family; they are a family, all of them, together. 

The van they’ve hired to take them from the airport to their resort is waiting for them when they touch down. Jack and Claire buzz with excitement as they ride down the road with the sea glistening ahead of them. Castiel and Dean smile warmly at each other as their children point out the beautiful and interesting things they pass on the way to their accommodation. Dean is already far more relaxed, happy to - at last - be on solid ground again and Castiel smirks to himself, thinking of the plans he has to help Dean relax even further once they are settled in and the kids are both in bed. 

They arrive at the picturesque resort, thank the hired driver with a generous tip, and are met by the resort greeter. They are barely able to take in the breathtaking beauty of the place as they are shown to their suite, which is adorned with bright exotic plants. The kids start exploring right away, fighting light-heartedly over the two single bedrooms, for the one with the best view of the sea. Dean and Cas walk into the master bedroom, dropping their bags and sharing an intimate moment where they embrace and whisper of their love for each other before they begin helping the kids unpack. 

Once they have finished unpacking, the family head to the main restaurant for dinner; the seating area is outside and surrounded by fairy lights and burning torches, there are even more beautiful and unusual plants lining the stone walls that mark the perimeter of the outside dining area. Beyond it, the water of the swimming pool shines in the light of the setting sun, gleaming in such an inviting way that it makes them all want to dive right in. The heat is overwhelming, but exactly what they’d wanted. 

Everything looks wonderful and so much more magical than they expected. They chat together about some of the things they’ve seen so far and their plans for the coming days, which include, of course, a phone call to Uncle Sam on Christmas. Claire and Jack talk excitedly about Christmas and what gifts they hope to get until Jack starts to show signs of tiring and they decide to head back to their suite and tuck him into bed. 

“You brushed your teeth, right?” asks Dean, staring suspiciously down at Jack who nods eagerly, “hmm, sniff test.” 

Jack laughs as Dean bends over and pulls a funny face while he does one long inhale through his nose, then Dean nods and smiles, confirming to his husband who is standing next to him with an amused expression on his face, “Minty fresh.”

“Goodnight, little angel,” says Castiel fondly, as he and Dean stand side by side next to their son’s bed, “have a good sleep. Lots of fun things to do tomorrow.”

Claire goes to bed not long after her brother, each of her dads gives her a kiss on the cheek before she buries herself under her comforter. She drifts off to sleep with the soothing sounds of the ocean in her ears (she won the room with the best sea view).

*****

After ensuring all the doors to their suite are locked and turning down the lights, Castiel and Dean head to the master bedroom. Castiel eyes Dean hungrily as he begins to unbutton his cotton shirt, “This place is amazing, Dean.”

Dean looks up, meeting Castiel’s smile with his own matching grin. “It really is, but you know what makes it even more perfect…”

Castiel hums and nods, “Being here as a family?”

“Well, that but also…” Dean looks down at the bed and then back up at Cas, with mischief glistening in his eyes, “our giant king-size bed.”

Castiel smiles, “Agreed,” he says, as he pulls his shirt from his arms and discards it on their dressing table before moving over to Dean, his lustful gaze never leaving his husband’s face, “I have a lot of plans for you, and me, and this bed.” He smiles as he slides his hands up Dean’s torso, making Dean shudder under his teasing fingertips, “In fact… I can’t think of a better time to get acquainted with it, than right now…”

“You read my mind,” croons Dean, as he leans forward and tenderly captures Castiel’s lips with his own, “I love you. So much.”

“I love you, too.” says Castiel, before meeting Dean’s eyes once more, “Now, take off your pants.” 

Dean grins and obeys, bending over to take down his pants. He kicks them away and steps back to pull his shirt over his head. As soon as the material tugs free from his head, leaving his hair slightly spiked up in a way that Castiel still finds irresistible, he is pushed backward. The back of his legs bump against the side of the bed and he tumbles, chuckling breathlessly as he lands down on the soft mattress. 

Castiel is on him in mere seconds, climbing up onto the bed and settling with one leg on either side of Dean’s waist, he begins kissing and licking at Dean’s neck and teasing his cock through the thin material of his boxers by running his hand over it lightly.

“Fuck.” mutters Dean, his breathing turning raged as his dick begins stiffening under Castiel’s attention. 

Castiel curls circles against Dean’s throat with his tongue in a way that he knows from experience drives Dean crazy. He nips gently at Dean’s ear lobe, drawing another low groan from the man beneath him, “Love you,” he whispers against Dean’s ear as his hand slips beneath the waistband of Dean’s underwear. 

Castiel faintly scratches his fingernails through the trimmed hairs on Dean’s crotch and against the sensitive skin there, smirking as Dean’s breath hitches against the building intensity of sensation. They have been together for so long, that Castiel is an expert at navigating his way around Dean’s body. He knows where to pay more attention to and what to avoid. He knows each and every button that lies just beneath the surface of Dean’s skin and presses them confidently, knowing he’ll be able to fine-tune Dean’s song so that he will soon be singing in ecstasy. 

He lowers his hand down, deliberately passes Dean’s now fully erect cock and finds his balls, he begins to massage them whilst grazing his teeth along Dean’s flesh. Shifting to one side after a few moments, so that he can work his mouth down Dean’s collarbone all the way down to his chest while still paying tortuously slow and tormenting attention to his balls. He finds one of those hard nubs on Dean’s chest and sucks it into his mouth, orbiting around it with his tongue. 

Dean’s eyes slip closed and he presses his head back into the pillow, letting out a low groan of frustration, “Jesus fucking Christ, Cas you tease.”

Castiel smiles around the nipple under his tongue and flicks his eyes up to look at Dean’s face. With one last deep suck, he lets loose Dean’s nipple with a wet popping sound. He pulls his hand free of Dean’s underwear and puts his weight on both hands, one on either side of Dean. Then proceeds to taste his way down over Dean’s stomach before sitting up, shifting back and resting on his ankles. He gradually draws Dean’s underwear down from his waist, allowing his husband's aching dick to spring free, it bounces up softly against Dean’s stomach as Castiel pulls the boxers the rest of the way down Dean’s legs. Castiel tosses the underwear over the edge of the bed and brings a hand up to his mouth, he dribbles some saliva into his palm and then wraps his hand around Dean’s cock, stroking firmly up the length of it. 

He holds the base of Dean’s dick steady with one hand, drawing his other up and down the shaft several times before he is no longer able to resist lowering his mouth to it. He licks over the tip, with the flat of his tongue, enjoying the way Dean quivers below him. His free hand teasing and massaging again at Dean’s balls. 

Dean groans in approval as Castiel takes his cock into his mouth and sucks on the head of it, swirling his tongue around the sensitive skin there. Castiel lowers himself further over Dean until he has taken most of Dean’s length into his mouth, his head bobs up and down as he sucks and teases, his mouth making obscene wet sucking noises. His free hand mouths up to Dean’s mouth and he taps suggestively against Dean’s lips with two fingers, encouraging Dean to suck on them. Dean parts his plump lips and as soon as Castiel’s fingers slip inside, Dean runs his tongue along them, wetting them thoroughly. 

Castiel removes his fingers from Dean’s mouth and down to between his legs, he circles Dean’s hole, wetting it before sliding a finger inside him. Dean arches up off the bed, groaning and squirming as Castiel stretches him carefully around his finger, soon adding a second. Castiel lavishes this tormenting attention on to Dean for another few minutes, listening to Dean’s breathy pants and fighting the urge to touch his own straining cock. Only when Dean is writhing beneath him, clearly beginning to lose control and ever so slightly starting to thrust himself into Castiel’s mouth, does Castiel finally pull away. His cheeks are flushed pink and his eyes are dark with longing. 

Dean looks up at him, appearing to be just as wrecked with lust as Castiel feels, “Going to fuck me now, babe?” he huffs out eagerly.

Castiel meets his eye with a smile, “Don’t think I can resist you much longer, you sure you feel ready?” 

Dean nods, “Hell yes, I’m ready. Give it to me, babe.” He smiles up at his husband as he traces his hands down his back, pulling at his waistband.

Castiel shifts back, turning over for a moment to hurriedly tug his own pants and underwear off, he leans over Dean, gasping as Dean swipes his tongue over his nipple. He reaches across to their bedside table to where he had put their lube earlier, then moves back over Dean, pausing only to plant a warm kiss on Dean's lips, before settling back on his ankles. He squeezes some of the lube into his palm, tosses the tube aside and rubs his hand over his swollen cock. 

Looking back up to meet Dean’s eyes, Castiel shifts forward on his knees, he hoists Dean’s legs up and nips at Dean’s inner thigh teasingly before lining himself up at Dean’s entrance. Their eyes lock as Cas starts to push himself into Dean’s inviting heat and they let out low groans in unison.

“Fuck!” stammers Dean, as he feels his husband's cock slide into him. 

Castiel stills for a moment, making sure that Dean is comfortable before he draws back and presses back in slowly, leaning forward to kiss at Dean’s neck as he finds a slow but steady rhythm. 

Soon the couple is moaning together, breathing into each other’s mouths as the need for air begins to outweigh the need to seal their lips together. They pant against each other's skin, as Castiel fucks into his husband wildly, the building need for release grows stronger. Dean’s hands rise up and grab at Castiel’s hips, reaching around to grip on his ass, Dean squeezes and tugs him deeper, groaning out loudly. 

“Shit, Cas… I’m close.” He pants breathlessly.

Castiel grunts against Dean’s throat, “Me too, Dean.”

As Castiel reaches his own electrifying climax, he grips the back of Dean’s neck with one hand, holding him steady as he fills him with his come. He cries out and shudders against his lover, before regathering enough of his senses to reach down between them and grip Dean’s cock, tugging it a few times, until he hears Dean calling out his name and feels Dean’s come coating his fingers. 

After they have exchanged a few tender, yet sweaty kisses, they move to clean themselves up before falling back on to the bed. Dean smiles at Castiel, feeling blissfully happy and sated.

“Just as good as our first time, just as exciting, fuck I love you so much,” says Dean emotionally as he pulls Cas into his arms and kisses his head.

“And you look every bit as handsome as when we first met,” says Castiel sincerely. 

“Sap.”

“Don’t give it, if you can’t take it,” smirks Castiel.

“Oh, I don’t know, I thought I’d taken _it_ rather well.” chuckles Dean, earning himself a playful nudge from his husband. They settle against each other and drift off into a peaceful sleep.

*

The next morning the kids wake up early, running into their dads’ room. Jack jumps up excitedly on the bed and throws his arms around Castiel wrapping him in a warm hug, as Claire begins to poke at the side of Dean’s face laughing when he tries to tiredly swat her hand away. Both children start begging their parents to go to the beach. 

Castiel sits up and hugs Jack back, tickling his sides, “First things first,” he says smiling, “we will need a good breakfast if we plan to spend time on the beach, won’t we?”

“Yes, Papa,” Jack replies, sounding breathless from laughing.

While everyone is getting themselves ready for the day, Dean decides it’s a good time to call Sam. The phone rings a few times before he picks up.

“Hey, Dean.” Sam greets happily.

“Hey, Sammy. Well, we made it here yesterday and the kids are already up this morning wanting to go to the beach.” He chuckles as he watches Cas change into his swim trunks, his head tilting to the side slightly to take in the still awe-inspiring sight that is his husband's ass.

“Yeah, I gotta get used to you guys being about half a day ahead of us. It's evening here.” 

“Oh that’s right, I didn’t even think about the time difference. Hey, How ‘bout we go to facetime and I show you our home away from home?” Dean offers. 

“Sounds like a great idea. I’m dying to see your view.”

Dean makes sure Castiel is decent before setting the call to video and then turns his camera around and begins to walk around the suite, showing Sam the inside and then walks out onto the patio to show him the view. “Pretty spectacular, huh?” 

“Wow, Dean! That just doesn’t seem real. It’s amazing.” 

“Yeah, but Claire’s room is already a mess, just like home.” Dean laughs as Claire gives him a stone-cold stare, which he catches on camera for Sam. “Well, we’re about to head to breakfast then down to the beach. I’ll talk to you later, Sammy. We’ll be sure to call you on Christmas morning too.”

“Give the kids and Cas all hugs from me. Have fun. Love you guys.” 

“Love you too, Sammy. Bye.” 

They finish getting dressed, Castiel, Dean, and Jack wearing shirts with their swim trunks, and Claire with her suit under her sundress. Cas makes sure that everyone has fruit with their breakfast (which Dean absolutely does not grumble about) so that everyone is well hydrated for the morning at the beach. After they finish eating they walk down the winding path to the beach. Dean and Cas slather both the kids in sunscreen before turning their attention to each other. Castiel turns and smacks Dean’s arm lightly when Dean makes a crude joke under his breath whilst rubbing in the white cream on Castiel’s back. 

Once they are all well-protected from the burning sunshine, Castiel beckons the kids to him and Dean.

“Okay, I know you guys don’t want to hear this, but we need to have a little reminder of what you should do if you get lost or can’t find us,” Dean looks down at his kids seriously.

“Yeah, Dad, we know,” says Claire, “If we can’t find you and Papa, we should find either a hotel worker or someone with kids, a family to ask them for help.”

“Alright, and what’s the name of the resort we are staying at, Jack?” Cas asks the boy.

“The Orchid Beach Resort in, um, Khao Lak.” He answers, smiling at his parents.

“Very good, Jack.” Dean congratulates his son, hoping that their kids won’t actually have a need for the information. 

“Besides, Dad, I don’t think we could ever lose you in those swim trunks.” Claire giggles as she points out Deans brightly colored shorts.

“What’s wrong with my trunks? I think they’re fun.” Dean looks down at his red and yellow floral shorts.

Castiel laughs and tugs at Dean’s shorts, “They are a little _loud_ , babe.”

“Well, y'all can stuff it. I like my shorts.” Dean huffs and looks back at his husband in mock betrayal, “Where did my loving support go?” 

Cas grins at his husband, “So, anyway, I need to be sure you guys know what room we’re staying in.” Cas gets back to the point of the discussion.

“Yes, Papa.” Claire rolls her eyes and answers, “We’re in room 112. My Dads are Dean and Castiel Winchester and my little brother is Jack. I think we’re clear on everything. Can we, please, swim now?” 

Dean smiles at Cas and silently asks if the serious talk is over. Cas barely holds back a roll of his eyes and leans close giving Dean a kiss. Dean grabs his daughter's hand and they take off at a sprint toward the water. 

The water is warm and clear, Dean and Claire use scuba masks to look under the waves to look at the sea-bed. Coming up to play and splash at each other, while Jack and Castiel build a sandcastle on the beach.

After lunch, they take a boat out to go diving out at the nearby coral reef. The whole family enjoys diving down beneath the surface to watch the fishes and sea life. There are many beautiful creatures living under the water that they have never seen before and they point and nudge each other to ensure no one misses anything. 

Back on the boat, Cas looks over at Dean with a huge smile on his face. “This is so much more beautiful than watching a documentary. Even on the big screen we have, as much as you love that TV, the real thing is just mind-blowing.”

“You’re right, Cas. Everything here seems to be brighter and more colorful than anything back home. Even after the plane ride, I’m so glad we came.” Dean leans over and gives Cas a kiss. 

“Dad! Look! Turtles!” Jack yells as he points to sea turtles swimming nearby.

*

Christmas morning, Dean and Cas wake up first and go to the kids’ rooms and start teasing them and tickling them to wake them up. They have gifts for each of them to unwrap and plan a fun day down at the pool.

Castiel calls Sam on a video call so that he can watch as the kids open their gifts because Dean is busy chasing the kids around the suite. Sam is soon laughing along with Cas at Dean’s antics. 

The kids and Dean finally make their way out onto the patio where Dean had decorated one of the larger potted plants like a small Christmas tree, something that Castiel admitted he found adorable. 

Jack is quick to open his first gift: it’s a selection of coloring books. He thanks his sister with a quick hug and moves on to his next gift. Meanwhile, Claire has torn open the wrapping on her first gift.

Her eyes light up with excitement at the gift, “A telescope! Thank you, Dad, thank you, Papa. I love it!” She hugs them both and begins to set up the telescope, “Can we watch the stars tonight?”

“Of course, we can, darling,” Cas replies, as he helps her set it up. It's not a large telescope but it’s supposed to be powerful enough for an eleven-year-old to enjoy the stars. 

Jack opens his other gift, “Oh, a ball! We can play with this at the pool! Thank you, Papa!”

“You’re welcome, Jack. You have a set of goalposts at home too, it was just a bit too big to bring on holiday. But we can set them up when we get home, alright?” Jack nods, his eyes bright with joy, “I’m sure we’ll all have lots of fun with the ball on holiday though. We can set up a game later, can’t we?”

Dean is busy taking pictures of his family as they open their gifts. He can’t help but smile and feel incredibly lucky as he watches his little family enjoy Christmas morning. 

Breakfast goes quickly as the kids are excited to go play at the pool. Dean is more than a little excited himself. He grins over at Cas, who is smiling at him with a raised eyebrow as he finishes his juice. “I can’t help it, the kids’ excitement is contagious.” 

“You don’t have to explain yourself, for feeling happy, Dean. I love how you engage with them, you’re a wonderful father. Just like I knew you would be.” Cas leans close and gives Dean a chaste kiss, “You guys go on ahead, I’ll catch up.”

*

Dean, Claire, and Jack playing catch in the pool with the ball he got for Christmas. Dean notices Castiel when he arrives at the poolside. He waves and Cas waves back, taking a seat on a lounge chair near the pool and pulling out his book to read. He smiles as he watches his family playing together. 

Jack knocks the ball over Claire’s head and she climbs out of the pool to chase it down. She smiles when she grabs the ball and looks back at her Papa and waves to him. Claire runs towards Castiel and gently throws the ball to him, encouraging him to play. Smiling, Castiel sits up and tosses the ball back in the pool towards Jack, it hits the water and bounces behind him towards the other end of the pool and Jack excitedly turns and swims after it. 

Cas’ smile, as he watches his son, slips from his face and he tilts his head frowning as he notices a strange sound, he looks around trying to find where it is coming from. He sees, one by one, everyone around the pool stop what they are doing to look up into the sky. He looks up, following their gazes to see vast flocks of birds flying away from the coast. Standing to get a better view, Castiel covers the sun from his eyes and looks out toward the sea, his mouth dropping open in horror. 

His eyes widen and his heart clenches as he sees the huge wall of water heading towards them. Numb and unblinking he stares in disbelief for another few seconds before time unfreezes and he is able to comprehend what is about to happen. His eyes desperately search the pool for his family and he finds Dean looking back at him, looking as pale and scared as he feels. 

Castiel lifts a hand, reaching blindly for his daughter as his heart hammers in his chest. Then his stomach drops as he notices Jack at the opposite end of the pool from his dad. Above the noise of the screeching birds, screaming families, and the rising roar of the thunderous wave about to crash down upon them, Castiel hears himself yelling. “DEAN!” he cries out, pointing wildly to where their son is cowering against the shallow sidewall of the pool, “GET JACK!”


	2. Chapter 2

The colossal wall of water crashes over the trees and buildings and swamps the swimming pool area. It swallows Dean and Jack right before Castiel’s eyes. 

As his fingertips touch the cool skin of his daughter's arm and before he has a chance to grab a hold of her properly, the wave collides into them. It tears them apart under its sheer force. Castiel tries to cry out for his daughter, but instead of words coming out, water rushes into his mouth. He sputters and clamps his mouth shut as he is pulled down below the darkened waters surface.

_Where’s Claire?_

_Where’s Dean and Jack?_

Immediately his eyes begin to sting against the dirty, salty water. Making it even more difficult for him to try and work out where he is or locate his family each time he breaks the surface. He feels his body being whipped around. Pain shoots through him as he slams into things whilst being carried further inland. Debris now surrounds him like a wall of landfill junk dragging him along. When he feels something soft pass by his side, he shudders and recoils as he registers that it feels like another person. He somehow manages to break through the surface of the water and gasps in a deep breath before his foot catches on something and he is dragged under again. 

_Someone help me!_

_I’m going to die._

He is tossed around below the raging waters like a ragdoll. Pummeling into trees and debris from the buildings. The next time he breaks the surface, he seems to be given a little more time. He splashes wildly trying to regain some control over himself. He shouts out for his family, for his husband and his children. He hears no reply over the deafening roar of destruction and sinks below the surface again with dying hopes. 

_They can’t be dead._

_Please don’t let them be dead._

_Please._

As he is careened around in the unforgiving water, he feels the burning pain in his chest from lack of oxygen. He fights his way through the thickening wreckage to the surface for air. 

_It hurts, it hurts, it hurts._

_I don’t want to die._

_It's ok, it’s ok, pain is good. It means you’re still alive._

He feels his body, tired and aching, cut into by sharp unseen objects in the dark seawater. His head bumps against something metal, dizzying him. His limbs feel limp and weightless. 

_I hope Dean and Jack and Claire are still alive…_

_She was right there, right next to me._

Everything is cold. Everything hurts. 

_Why didn’t I move sooner, why didn’t I grab her?_

_She’s just a child, I should have protected her!_

Another voice in his head, that reminds him painfully of Dean says, ‘There was nothing you could have done.’

_But they’re my family, and I’ve lost them._

_I’ve lost them…_

The other voice, the one he pictures as Dean says, ‘Just hold on. Hold on.’

*

He breaches the surface and then he hears it, screaming. It should fill his heart with dread, chill his blood to an icy sludge, that’s how awful the sound is. Instead, it sparks a flame of hope in his chest, it’s Claire, he knows it’s his daughter and he quickly shouts out. The screaming stops, so does his heart, had she been pulled under? Or was she simply pausing to listen? 

He yells out again, “Claire!?” Then strains his hearing in the direction the screaming had come from.

“Papa?” 

_She’s alive!_

_Where? Where is she?_

“CLAIRE!” He shouts moving through the rushing water, trying to get nearer to his daughter, to grab out to anything that might help him reach her, “Claire! Let me hear your voice, sweetheart!”

“PAPA!” she cries, between fearful panicked sobs, “Help me!” 

“I’m coming baby, I’m coming.”

*

Castiel does his best to swim against the current and through the dangerous debris towards his daughter. When he spots her his heart fills with hope and love and he doubles his efforts to get to her as quickly as possible. Claire appears to have a few minor scratches on her face and arms, but Castiel is relieved that he can’t see any major injuries on her from where he is. 

_She’s okay, she’s okay. She’s going to be okay._

Seeing her brings him fresh determination to keep going, he can’t lose her again. He has to reach her and protect her. Claire is frightfully pale as she comes into view; she is holding onto the branch of a tree, until she spots her papa and let’s go to try and swim toward him.

“Claire! Grab that billboard!” Castiel calls out to his daughter as he makes his way to a large floating plank of wood. He never takes his eyes off her; he doubts he ever will again. 

Castiel sees that Claire manages to grab the opposite side of the billboard from him and he watches as she tries to climb on top of it. He startles when a hand reaches out and grabs her arm, but is relieved when he realizes whoever is already on top of the wood is helping to heave her onto it. 

He sees his daughter look at the woman who had leaned over to help her and nod her head shakily in thanks. He feels a rush of gratitude towards the woman, for helping her. He can’t see her back, but Claire’s legs from what he can tell only have superficial scratches on them. 

_Maybe we will make it out of this okay._

_Maybe Jack and Dean are okay, too._

Looking past her, he realizes that he recognizes the little boy by her side from the pool at their resort. Claire and Jack had played with him barely an hour earlier. The woman who had helped her had been there too, he’d said good morning to her as she’d strolled past him to the pool - she’d looked so happy. Now she is shaking and pale, her arms and legs have dozens of little cuts across them, the boy has a few scratches too, but it was clear that his mother had wrapped herself around him and taken the worst of it herself. 

“Hold on, Claire!” Cas cries out as he reaches across the wood to try and grab Claire’s hand. Just as he reaches Claire’s fingers, the billboard bumps against something underwater and dislodges the little boy from where he was clinging on - he falls with a heartbreaking wail and is pulled under the water. His mother screams for him, searching the surface of the waves desperately for any sign of her son. She looks into Castiel’s eyes, scared but determined, and then dives into the rushing water after her child. Claire looks fearfully at her papa, as though silently begging him not to go. Castiel grips her hand and then looks back at the water to see if he can spot the woman or her son. 

“Papa!” Claire shouts as she sees a large, solid-looking tree in their path. Castiel whips his head around but is too late to do anything as the billboard strikes the tree and shatters, throwing Castiel and Claire back into the water.

_No, no, please… I just found her. Please._

Castiel suddenly feels something sharp stab deeply into his lower leg, he screams in agony, which allows the valuable air he had left in his lungs to escape as a large bubble. He feels the bubble of air roll up his face, he sees the dim sunlight of the surface, but it’s blurred and fading fast - or is that him?

_*_

Just as everything goes cold and black, he hears a ringing in his ears. 

He remembers waking up to a phone call in the early hours of the morning, many years ago... 

_Cas turned to Dean and shook him awake, in fact, he’d nearly pushed him off the bed with his excitement._

_“Claire is coming! We need to get to the hospital!” he told Dean as he pulled on his jeans and a t-shirt. Kelly, Claire’s surrogate had gone into labor._

_Dean sat up straight and grabbed his own jeans, looking nervous but thrilled, “How long has she been at the hospital?”_

_“She just got there, we have time, but we need to hurry,” said Castiel, rushing from the bedroom to do one last inspection of the nursery they had set up. Everything was, of course, in order, just as it had been anytime either one of them had checked for the past few weeks._

_They reached the hospital just in time to see Kelly before she was taken into the delivery room. It felt like an eternity before the nurse came out and told them that Kelly and their daughter were both doing well. Castiel remembers looking towards Dean, with excitement coursing through him._

_“We’re going to be fathers,” he said quietly as he rested his forehead against Dean’s, “We have a daughter.”_

_Dean’s responding smile was something that Castiel would never forget. He’d looked so beautiful, his hair flattened on one side as he had some serious bed head going on and tired little bags under his eyes as they’d both not been sleeping much of late what with Claire having been due almost a week earlier, but happy. He looked truly happy and it shone through in that heartwarming smile._

_They were shown into the room where Kelly and their daughter were waiting. Castiel gave Kelly a grateful hug whilst Dean peeked into the tiny bundle of blankets in the cot beside her bed. Claire was cooing adorably and Dean looked up at Kelly, with wide desperate eyes and then made comical grabby hands for his daughter. Kelly smiled and nodded and Castiel watched with his heart-melting inside him as the nurse handed Dean the most beautiful baby he’d ever seen._

*

Suddenly, the light is far too bright and he hears his daughter screaming at him. 

“Papa! No! PAPA!” he hears Claire yell as her small hands turn him over, getting his face out of the water. He gasps for air and blinks weakly up at her, he manages to grab her tightly and take a deep breath just as another wave takes them both under. 

Castiel grips Claire’s swimsuit and doesn’t let go - he will not lose her, he _can’t_. He holds her to his chest, his tired arms fighting to keep her close as he continues shielding her as much as possible with his own body. Miraculously, he makes it back to the surface with his daughter in tow. They are still being swept along by the force of the water, clinging to one another with fearful expressions. 

“Claire, look. That tree! Swim toward that fallen tree.” 

Castiel watches as Claire turns to look where he is pointing, she meets his eyes and nods and together they swim - or rather try to aim their bodies - toward the tree. With each movement of his leg, Castiel can feel the awful dragging of loose skin. His injury is deep and painful. He can tell by how groggy and weak he feels that he has lost a lot of blood. He ignores it and pushes on toward the tree. He has to get Claire somewhere safer, somewhere they can take a breath and think. He has to try. 

It takes a few minutes, pushing other branches and debris out of their way, but they make it to the fallen tree and Castiel gently pushes Claire forwards so she can grab hold, and then comes to rest beside her. He lays his head against the cool trunk of the tree and closes his eyes for a moment as he tries to catch his breath and take stock of their situation. He pulls his daughter close and tells her over and over how much he loves her.

“It’s okay Claire. It’s okay. I’m here, I love you so much. We’re going to be ok. I got you.” 

_I can’t believe I found her._

_Thank you, thank you, thank you._

Castiel had never felt so grateful and he attacked his daughter’s face with desperate kisses, stroking his hand over her head and checking she has no injuries hidden beneath her hair, “You’re ok, you’re ok. I found you. Papa loves you so, so much!” 

The chance to rest, is the chance to think and Castiel’s mind keeps circling back to one painful question, where are his son and husband? His treacherous mind-eye immediately tries to convince him that they are dead, with nightmarish images of Dean trying to save Jack from the wave, then both of them getting caught in it and being unable to breathe. 

_They can’t be dead, I’d know._

_I’d feel it._

He sees himself and Claire traveling home alone on a plane, finally being safe but feeling dead inside anyway. He sees them being met at the airport by family and with a lurch of his stomach he realizes it would likely be Sam who would come and get them. What would Sam say if Castiel returned without Dean? How would Sam take it, if he lost his brother? Guilt crashes through him and he can’t help but hold a little tighter on to his daughter, determined to, at least, protect her. 

_I won’t lose Claire, too._

***

Hours pass, with the pair both too tired and battered to do anything other than hold on and float along with the tree. The water eventually slows and the mud begins to sink to the ground, leaving slightly clearer water on the surface. Castiel feels a little bit of relief, surely that must mean it’s over, that there isn’t going to be any more waves? The water should start to recede soon. 

“Claire?” he murmurs after the long stretch of silence, she looks up at him, “are you hurt anywhere that I can’t see?”

She shakes her head, “Just scratches.” 

“Your legs are ok? You can swim?” he asks. He can see the cuts scattered over his daughter's arms and back but he had to be sure that she hadn’t suffered anything more serious. He was aware of the aching in his own leg, although now it was like background pain, not the sharp stabbing pain it had been at first. 

_Not sure if that’s a good thing or bad, so long as Claire’s okay it doesn’t matter._

“Yes, I can swim” says Claire, frowning slightly, “Is it over, Papa? Can we get out of here?”

“Soon, I hope. I need to rest, a little longer,” Castiel looks at his daughter seriously, “I need you to promise me, you won’t go anywhere. Stay right here, okay? If you see anyone, tell me. Do not try to reach them on your own. Understand?” 

Claire nods, and asks fearfully, “Are you alright?”

“I’ve hurt my leg but I’ll be okay, I just need to close my eyes for a minute. So long as you’re ok…” Castiel’s voice trails off as he closes his eyes and rests his head against the tree again.

*

Blood swirls like smoke in the water. Some bodies that had been weighted down by sludge shift and rise. The water becomes calmer, clearer, easier to move through. The scent of car fuel mingles unpleasantly with the smell of saturated clag it is thick and swamp-like in the air, however, the dust that had billowed up from destroyed buildings had finally settled, leaving the air a little easier to breathe.

Still draped over the fallen tree and being carried along with the flow, Castiel dozed. The ‘lap-lapping’ of the water against his skin almost felt therapeutic. It felt cool and warm at the same time, as though someone was lying a blanket over him and then drawing it back again and repeating the process over and over. 

_Strange_. 

He felt Claire's hand touching him every so often, he frowned curiously as her palm rested against the end of his nose.

_What is she doing?_

“I’m thirsty,” said Claire, louder than necessary. Her voice reached into the darkness and pulled Castiel out of its peacefulness reluctantly...

Castiel blinked, had he been sleeping? He looked up at his daughter, her face was pale but she looked relieved to see his eyes open. He realized with a jolt of guilt that she had been checking he was still breathing. He straightened up, trying to show that he was feeling a little stronger now. 

“I’m okay, I’m okay,” he says quietly. He offered his daughter a weak smile but then, frowned as a movement in the distance behind her caught his eye.

He squinted, trying to focus his tired eyes on the ‘thing’ he was sure had moved. Claire turned her head around to follow his gaze.

“What?” she asked cautiously. 

“I’m not sure… I thought I saw something but I…” 

His words cut off as the ‘thing’ moves again. A sharp, unmistakable bobbing as something floating along the surface is tugged below the water and then rises again. He blinks, his heart rate quickening, it couldn’t be… could it?

His suspicions are confirmed when suddenly there are several violent splashes around the object. A large tail beats through the water and sends it showering down over, what Castiel now knows is a body. His chest is pounding and his insides feel icy as he watches a dorsal fin with a slice missing from it cruise around the corpse and then ‘tug’ at it again. 

_Bite._

His inner voice corrects.

_It’s a fucking shark and it’s eating someone._

Castiel hears his daughters gasp as she realizes what is happening barely thirty feet away from them. She turns back to her papa, with tears of fear in her eyes. He holds her closely into his chest, shielding her from seeing what was happening behind her. The loud splashing is soon accompanied by a blood-curdling ripping sound, as cloth and flesh is torn apart. Breathing in deeply to calm his nerves Castiel flicks his gaze over Claire's head and back toward the shark and corpse. 

He freezes in terror as he sees the shark thrashing above the water with what appears to be a leg clamped between it’s huge and powerful jaws. He feels his whole body tense as blood splatters across the sharks teeth and face. Then the deadly creature drops back into the water, its stripy side glinting in the sunlight before disappearing from view.

_Must be a Tiger shark._

“Papa?” she says quietly, as her whole body begins to tremble. 

Castiel nods, “We should move. We should get out of the water.” 

_Like now._

Castiel knows that there are lots of dead bodies in the water, so there must be lots of blood but he also knows that his leg is bleeding which could be a draw for the shark and after what he had just witnessed, he desperately wanted to get his legs and the rest of himself out of the water, and even more importantly, Claire. He doesn’t want to alarm his daughter any more than she already is, so he forces himself to remain calm as they look around for somewhere to aim for that would be safer. 

_We need to head inland, to shallower water._

_I just hope that shark has enough ‘food’ to keep it distracted._

_Don’t think body, don’t think body… ah shit._

Guilt rushes through him at the thought of hoping there were more dead bodies in the area to occupy the shark. He shakes it away, trying to stay focussed. Feeling nauseous, he takes hold of Claire’s hand, feeling it solidly in his own and praying that they both get out of this alive. 

_Am I going to have to battle a shark now?_

He looks around them and pulls a heavy tree branch from the water, testing its sturdiness with a few strong swings. He nods to Claire, trying to appear more confident that he felt, “Ready?”

“Ready,” she repeats meeting his eyes. Castiel casts one last glance over to where the shark is still ripping large and bloody chunks out of the body. He tries not to think about the person alive, of their name and life or how their body is being devoured. He tries not to think about the family that may search for them… and never find them. 

_Just fucking try and get near my daughter, jaws face._

Gripping her hand a little tighter, Castiel releases the fallen tree and leads Claire carefully inland. 

_The water has to become shallower soon, it just has to._

Castiel leads Claire through the water, feeling the constant threat of the shark, like a horrible prickling on the back of his neck. He kept looking around, eyes darting back to the body that was becoming smaller and smaller the further away they got from it. He looks ahead into the water they are moving through, for any sign of anything lurking below the surface.

_Where there is one shark, there could be more._

They wade quietly through the water, carefully moving tree branches and floating debris out of their way until it becomes waist-deep. Castiel keeps a firm hold on Claire's hand to help her keep up and to reassure himself that she’s still with him. He uses the large branch he’d found earlier (as something to hit the shark with had it come to close) as a crutch to support his injured leg and together he and Claire trudge through the water until it gets shallower and shallower. 

When the water is mostly sludge and mud around their ankles, Claire finally sees how bad Castiel’s leg is. With wide eyes, she takes in the disturbing flap of loose flesh hanging down where it is gouged open, and she freaks. 

“Papa! Oh God, Papa! Your leg!”

He turns to her and she sees the cut on his chest, blood staining his torso. “You’re bleeding so bad.”

“I’ll be alright, sweetheart,” Castiel tries to remain as calm as he possibly can and nods to his daughter, “Walk in front of me, baby girl.” He thinks this will help her not to focus on his wounds. Soon he is fighting against his body as he begins shivering. He feels bitterly cold, even though the temperature must be quite warm as he notices that the water on them is starting to dry up. The ground below their feet is becoming drier and more solid.

“Look,” Claire says and she points ahead of them, turning large hopeful eyes to her papa, “That big tree. We could climb up in that tree and rest, it would be safe if another wave comes.” 

Castiel looks to where his daughter is pointing and agrees numbly. As he nods, he feels a pull in his chest and subconsciously brings his hand up, he hisses as his fingers graze over a deep wound just below his pectoral muscle, looking down at his hand, he winces as he realizes; he is bleeding badly. He holds his hand over the wound to try and stem the flow and continues to follow his daughter, stumbling slightly as he starts to feel the effects of fighting for air in the water and loss of blood. 

He hears Dean’s voice in his head again as he begins to feel dizzy and light, ‘ _Keep going, keep going. She’s not safe yet.’_

_I’m not going to make it…_

In his mind Castiel sees Dean shaking his head, _‘You don’t get to rest until she is safe.’_

_Dean? Where are you?_

_‘Concentrate Cas! She needs you… you’re all she has left.’_

_Please, Dean… I can’t do this without you._

_I need you._

_Dean?_


	3. Chapter 3

Castiel forces himself to keep moving. Slowly, he puts one foot in front of the other and follows Claire toward the large tree ahead of them. 

He blinks away a few stray tears that are born as his thoughts settle on his son and husband's whereabouts; were they really gone? Sickening images form in his mind of Dean’s body floating in the water, his husband lifeless and surrounded by hungry sharks, and he pictures Jack nearby screaming out for his dad. Castiel shakes his head and forces himself to be in the moment, his daughter needs him. He needs to focus on her. 

He and Claire have been fighting Mother Nature and all she has thrown at them all day. He’s exhausted and dizzy as he walks along behind Claire, still trying to use the stick as a crutch. Each step is painful, the shock and adrenaline of the morning's events was wearing off and he could feel every movement pull against his injuries. He takes comfort in the fact that at least Claire looks much calmer now they are far away from the shark. He feels proud of how strong and brave she is being as she leads him along. 

At the base of the tree, Cas finds some vine and leans against the tree to balance himself as he prepares to wrap his leg. He knows he has to stop the bleeding and close up the wound, he’s already lost too much blood. He grits his teeth and fights against the pain as he ties the vine tightly around his leg just above his knee. He takes some long, wide strips of grass and devises a makeshift bandage to hold his leg closed where the skin has been torn loose. 

He catches his daughter watching him and staring at his wounded leg; he knows it looks bad and by the look on his daughter’s face, he can tell that she knows it’s bad too. To try to alleviate her worries, he straightens up and smiles, “It’s going to be fine. It’s nothing a doctor won’t be able to stitch up in a flash.”

Claire doesn’t look convinced, she shakes her head and tears begin to fall down her face. Castiel pulls her into a hug and swipes a thumb gently under her eyes, “Hey, hey sweetheart. Don’t cry. We’re together. We’ll be ok. Now, let’s get in this tree, ok?”

Claire nods and turns warily to the tree but just before she starts to climb up the tree she spots a soda can on the ground nearby. Castiel spots her looking at it and when she turns to him with questioning eyes, he nods at her with a small smile so she knows it is ok to pick it up. It’s unopened and they need something to drink. She hurries over to it and sticks it in the front of her swimsuit before she begins climbing the tree. Claire is able to scramble up the tree quite well.

Castiel begins to climb after her, the pain searing in his chest as he lifts his arms to reach for the lower branches. Using the hardy vines he grabs hold and begins to pull himself up. He slips and falls, crying out in pain as he lands on his leg. 

Resting for a moment to get his breath back, he looks up at Claire, “Stay there. I’ll be up in a minute.”

“I can help you, Papa.”

“No, no. Please, just stay there. Knowing you’re safe right now, is helping a great deal already.” Castiel smiles at his daughter, “I’ll rest for a moment and then try again.”

Claire sighs and sits herself down on a sturdy looking branch, watching her papa helplessly.

More to prove to his daughter that he is able to than actually feeling ready, Castiel gets back up. He clenches his jaw and tries again, grunting and crying out in pain as he makes the slow climb up to the large limb that Claire is waiting on. Once he is up on the limb he lays down and nearly passes out. 

Cas looks over at Claire when he hears her open the soda can, she takes a drink and hands it to him. He takes a small drink and hands it back to her, he can tell by the look on her face that she wants to argue. Likely to say something along the lines of ‘that he needs it more’ but he cuts her off with a shake of his head and lays back down against the rough bark of the tree. He can feel Claire watching over him as he rests.

 _My brave little girl._

Cas closes his eyes, just for a minute, he just needs to rest for a few minutes.

*

_“Dean, he didn’t mean anything by it.” Castiel barks at Dean’s back as they enter their apartment. The door swings closed behind them with a loud bang that shakes the walls._

_“Well, you don’t see me receiving any sort of kisses from my ex.” Dean huffs, as he storms into their tiny kitchen and begins to put the groceries away._

_Castiel sighs heavily and shakes his head, “It was just a kiss on the cheek. You know how Bal is.”_

_Dean glares at Cas, “Actually, I don’t know how Bal is. He is your ex and_ you _know how Bal is… So, I would have hoped that maybe you would have taken a moment to tell your ex that you’re friends with and who is bound to pop into our lives every now and then, that you are in a relationship with me. And that kissing is…” Dean growls in frustration, “Just that he can’t do that shit anymore. I wouldn’t ask you to put up with any of my exes kissing me. I thought that when we moved in with each other that meant you were serious about our relationship.” Dean finished sadly._

_“Dean, I am.” Cas replied still sounding angry, “I can’t believe you’re getting this jealous about stupid Bal and a stupid kiss on the cheek.”_

_"Look, I wanted to rip the guy's head from his neck when I saw him kissing you! Coming back here and acting like a jealous bitch was really the lesser of two evils." Dean sasses, as he looks Cas in the eyes, slamming the packet of pasta down on the counter._

_"Well, thank_ **_you_ ** _, for not committing murder." Cas shouts sarcastically, “It’s not like I wanted him to kiss me.”_

_“You should have stopped him.” says Dean firmly, “I would have stopped Lisa…”_

_“This is ridiculous, you’re acting like I’m cheating on you… He pecked my cheek. That’s it. That’s all she wrote!”_

_Dean steadily unpacks the groceries and continues to glare at Cas._

_“Fine! If you aren’t going to talk to me like an adult, I’m going to get some air. It’s too hot in here.” Cas turns and storms out the door. He gets in his car and sits there for a few minutes, fuming, before he starts the engine. He drives through the park and stops by the river to watch the people on the jogging track. He doesn’t stay gone long, just long enough to calm his nerves and settle his anger so he won’t shout at Dean anymore._

_This is their first real fight since moving in together and it hit him that really, it was his fault. As he sits there thinking over how he’d feel if he saw Dean with Lisa and she’d done what Balthazar had. If she’d put her hand on his arm, and leaned into his space, then kissed his cheek. Castiel shudders. Shit, Dean was right. He should have stopped him, or said something afterward at the very least to let him know that wasn’t okay anymore. They were over and he is with Dean now and it might still be ‘early days’ but they obviously felt very strongly about each other to have moved in together._

_Suddenly angry with himself, Castiel drives back to the apartment, ready to beg for forgiveness. Dean is sitting on the couch. The TV is off and the lights are off, Dean is sitting in the dark room._

_“Dean?” Cas calls when he walks into the room, frowning at the darkness. Dean looks up tiredly, his eyes red-rimmed and his face is puffy from crying._

_Castiel feels his heart-shattering in his chest, he’d caused this by walking out mid-argument, he’d hurt Dean, not to mention how the argument had started in the first place._

_“Oh, Dean. I’m sorry. I should never have walked out like that.” Cas says as he sits on the couch next to Dean. He knows that Dean has abandonment issues, and storming out during a disagreement was the worst thing he could have done._

_“You left me,” Dean says quietly, through his tears._

_“I know. I’m sorry. I wasn’t thinking, I was just angry. I swear that I won’t leave you like that ever again.” Castiel hurries to soothe his lover, “And I will have a word will Balthazar about what is appropriate behavior. I thought about it and you’re right - I wouldn’t like it if Lisa did that to you. You’re mine.”_

_Dean looks up at Cas, his lashes sticking together and his cheeks damp from tears. “Promise?”_

_“I promise. I swear, I will never storm out on you during a disagreement. I will never leave you,” Cas supplies as he wipes Dean’s cheeks with his thumbs. Dean’s smile is answer enough. “I love you, Dean and I am so, so sorry.”_

_“I love you, too.”_

Cas turns his head, leaning into the ghost-like memory of the kiss Dean placed on his lips and opens his eyes, he frowns in confusion when Dean is not there beside him. The sun is low on the horizon in the distance and it takes him a moment to remember where he is…

“Dean,” Castiel breathes out his name in a desperate whisper, as the pain and fear come crashing back through him... 

_Dean is going to think that I left him._

*****

The memory of their fight and the guilt from it fresh in his mind, Castiel shifts and tries to start climbing down out of the tree but Claire stops him.

“Papa, you need to stay put, your leg is really bad.”

“We need to go back and look for Dean and Jack, they must be worried sick about us,” Castiel mutters as Claire holds his arm to keep him from climbing down, it feels like a gorilla has hold of him, how is his daughter this strong?

_Or am I just that weak right now?_

“No, we need to stay here where we’re safe. We need to rest so we can go find help.” Claire tells him. 

“I need to find Dean and Jack… I promised I’d never leave him,” Castiel begins to sound panicked, frightening Claire. 

“No, Papa! Dad and Jack are dead! We need to find help before you bleed to death! I need you here with me!” She cries out, scared that her words are true. Her eyes are bloodshot and tired, full of tears and pleading. 

Cas shakes his head but reluctantly stays put. He is taken aback by his daughter’s words. He lays back down along the large branch, his head feels light and the world tilts as he tries not to pass out, again.

“They aren’t dead,” he says quietly, “they can’t be. They just… can’t be.” As his eyes slip closed again.

*

Castiel feels Claire shaking him and stirs warily, eyes landing on the sun that is setting on the sealine horizon in the distance, it’s brilliant orange glow is warm and comforting. Castiel’s lips quirk into a weak smile as he drinks in the view. 

“Papa, wake up. I hear people talking down there.” She is pointing and Castiel looks in that direction, careful to keep his balance on the branch. He looks down, tearing his eyes from the sun to below the tree. He sees two men walking toward them through the destruction and sloppy mud.

“HEY! HELP!” She calls out, waving wildly at the men to get their attention. Their heads snap up and they wave back, changing direction to head towards the tree. 

“Claire,” says Castiel quietly, “don’t let them take you away from me. Ok? We need to stay together.” 

Claire nods.

The men seem to be local villagers and Castiel realizes quickly that they do not speak English, but that doesn’t stop him from thanking them, repeatedly, as they help first Claire and then him out of the tree. He winces at the pain of moving and tries to help but his battered body is refusing to work. He feels nauseous and it doesn’t help when he realizes that if these men wanted to take his daughter away from him, he’d be helpless to stop them. 

“She’s my daughter,” he keeps saying, over and over, “she’s mine.”

Claire takes hold of her papa’s hand to reassure him as he reaches the ground. He cries out in pain as he tries to put weight on his leg and falls, too weak to stand on his own. The two men talk together for a few moments before one of them grabs a hold of Castiel under his arms, Claire’s hand slips from his as the man begins to drag him along. 

The injury to his leg and the puncture wound to his chest cause Castiel to scream out in pain when the man begins to pull on him. He tries to stop, he knows Claire is nearby and can see him. He doesn’t want her to worry about him, but it’s too much. He has never felt anything like it before. His chest feels hot and sharp, as though there is a spear impaling him and making it hard to breathe. The wound on his leg feels massive, he imagines the pain would be similar to that if someone had taken a cheese grater to the area and just scraped at him until there was nothing left but bone. 

The rest of his body, though not as battered as his chest and leg, still aches. He has no control over his limbs, no strength at all, which he knows is likely down to the sheer amount of blood that he has lost. His head throbs and his throat feels dry…

_Is this what dying feels like?_

_She’s safe now… I can’t..._

“I can’t… please, just save my daughter...” he cries out in unimaginable pain. The man pulling him, either can’t understand him or chooses to ignore his cries as he continues to drag him along. Cas can see Claire following along, keeping as close as she can without getting in the way… her worried face is the last thing he sees before his eyes roll to the back of his head and he passes out from the pain.

*

_“She deserved it,” snaps Claire, folding her arms over her chest and looking annoyed, “she was saying that I was weird because I have two dads.”_

_Castiel looks affronted, whilst Dean scoffs and mutters something under his breath that sounds like, “-just jealous because thanks to her mom, she has no idea who her dad is-”_

_Castiel shoots Dean a withering glare, before turning back to his daughter who he absolutely caught trying to cover up a smirk that suggested she had heard exactly what Dean had said, “Claire, you can not go around slapping people.”_

_Dean presses his lips together comically and looks at the ceiling in a way that implies he doesn’t one hundred percent agree with his husband but is biting his tongue._

_“What she said is rubbish, you are not ‘weird’ because you have two dads. Your dad and I both love you so much and we only want you to be safe, happy, and healthy. If she has a problem with that - that’s her issue. You need to learn not to react when people bait you like that. Ignoring them takes their power away, reacting… gets you in trouble with the principle.”_

_“It’s not the first time she’s said stuff to me,” says Claire, desperately trying to defend herself, “she’s horrible.”_

_“Well, try to stay away from her or inform a teacher. Ok? Please? I don’t want to be called into school again to find out you’ve been fighting.”_

_“Maybe we should have a word with your principal about this girl?” suggests Dean, as he looks at Castiel, “she shouldn’t get away with being a bullying little bit-”_

_“DEAN,” Castiel cuts his husband off, with a warning glare, “she’s ten. We don’t use that word on ten-year-olds.”_

_“Sorry,” mutters Dean, pointedly avoiding Claire's eyes, “still though - if we call and tell them that, this girl clearly has a problem with Claire and is repeatedly targeting her, they will have to do something, right? If the school isn't going to step in and keep that girl away from her…” Dean finally looks at his daughter, “then, personally, I’m all for Claire defending herself.”_

_Castiel sags and shakes his head, he points at Dean, “Please, don’t encourage her into fighting. We’ll call them, happy?” Dean grins and nods. Castiel moves his hand and points at Claire and says firmly, “No hitting. Now go to bed.”_

_“Imagine what she’ll be like when she grows up?” smirks Dean, “We won’t have to threaten any boys, she’ll kick the shit out of them all by herself.”_

_“You sound far too happy about that,” laughs Castiel, “you want our daughter to ‘kick the shit out of people’?”_

_“If they deserve it or try to rush her into something that she’s not ready for? Hell yeah.”_

*

Waking up is hard. 

Castiel can make out the constant bustling movement and talking of people around him but the one voice he can’t hear and wants so desperately too, is Claire’s. Fear makes his heart clench, painfully. He can’t have lost her. 

_Where is she?_

The people around him are speaking in a language he doesn’t understand and his brain is too foggy to process it; he’s confused and afraid and the pain is agonizing. Everything hurts, he feels raw, like his skin has been peeled away and every single nerve in his body is exposed. 

The comfortable black nothing that had gripped Castiel tightly doesn’t want to let him go easily and he has to fight with everything he has just to open his eyes. He thinks it would be easier to slip back into the nothingness, but then thoughts of his daughter alone and afraid push him to open his eyes.

_Since when were my eyelids this heavy?_

_Open!_

When he finally gets his eyes open, he doesn’t know where he is, his vision is blurry but he can see people all around him. At first, he attempts to bat them away, thinking they are trying to harm him, fighting to catch his breath he struggles to push the hands off him. As his eyesight clears, he looks around and notices that he is lying on a mat on the ground. He watches the women around him, with wide eyes. Relief overwhelms him when he realizes that they are trying to help, he relaxes with a weak sigh and stops fighting them. 

One woman presses a small cup to his lips, insisting that he drink some water, as others gather around him, cleaning his wounds and washing the filth from his skin. If he wasn’t feeling so weak, he’d feel embarrassed. There are so many hands on him, wiping his bloody arms and legs, it has been a long time since anyone other than Dean has touched him so intimately. His leg is throbbing and his chest aches as he looks up into the faces of the women, with tears in his eyes.

“Tha…” He chokes out, coughing to clear his throat. “Thank you.” He whispers to the women hovering over him. He knows they can’t understand him but he continues to thank them just the same. 

“Papa,” Claire’s face suddenly comes into view, she smiles down at him, it’s the most beautiful thing Cas has seen since he opened his eyes, with heartbreaking relief in her voice she says, “You’re awake.”

Castiel smiles a small smile at his daughter and nods, shakily reaching out to take her hand, he hisses when the movement pulls at his chest.

“These nice people have been washing some of the mud and… um, blood off you. See, I’m much cleaner, too. That nice lady gave me some shorts and a shirt to wear.” Claire tells her papa while pointing at one of the women surrounding him. Castiel looks over at the woman and gives her a small smile as he nods at her in appreciation. 

There are people moving all around him and he tries to look around and see what is happening, but moving his head makes him dizzy so he stills and lets the women tend to him. 

Claire stands nearby, within his eyesight, she is watching the action as well as keeping an eye on her papa. 

A few men carry out a door from one of the damaged buildings and bring it over to the mat where Castiel is lying. There is some discussion in Thai before the women move and allow the men to lift him onto the door. Castiel lets out an anguished sound as the movement pulls on his injuries and makes his head swim. The men lift him and carefully transport him to a waiting truck where they slide him into the back. Claire climbs into the back with him along with a few more injured people and a few men from the village. 

“Papa, they’re taking us to a hospital,” Claire tells him. He tries to give her a smile but he is just in too much pain so he just holds her hand, squeezing it to let her know that he understands. 

When the truck starts moving, Claire stands up to watch the road. Castiel is unable to move, so he just watches her face, he sees her eyes searching for any sign of her dad and brother. Then he sees her eyes widen, he can only imagine what she is seeing but from the look on her face, he can tell it is nothing good. Tears trickle down her cheeks and Castiel wants nothing more than to be able to get up and hold her. To hug her tightly and shield her from the horrors she is witnessing.

Claire turns to her papa, wiping away the tears on her face, “There are injured people resting along the side of the road. Some are,” she shakes her head, clearly distressed and Castiel squeezes her hand again to offer comfort, “kneeling beside bodies. Crying, they look so sad. There are so many bodies, Papa, wrapped in plastic sheets.” Claire keeps talking to her papa, her voice trembling as she tells him what she is seeing as they ride along.

The road is rough and full of potholes and debris and the truck bounces around wildly, it jars Castiel, aggravating his injuries. He does his best not to cry out with the pain, holding it in and gritting his teeth as he endures. He won’t add any more to his daughter's distress, no matter how bad it hurts...

“I don’t want to look anymore papa, there are so many injured people,” said Claire sadly. 

“Please?” whispers Castiel, hating himself for what he is asking his daughter to do. If he could stand, he’d look for himself, “I can’t...”

He coughs and squeezes Claire’s hand again, he can barely turn his head to the side without feeling sick but he has to get the words out, “Need you... to look for Jack... and your dad.” 

Claire squeezes his hand in response and wipes her face again as Castiel says, “Be brave, ok?”

*

They finally reach the hospital and some of the men that had traveled from the village with them lift Castiel out of the back of the truck and carry him inside. There is a lot of shouting but the men rush Cas past the guards and quickly find a nurse to help. Claire follows them, pushing through the crowds of people to stay close to her papa. 

They are taken upstairs and Castiel is transferred from the door to a bed. He is moved so suddenly that he cries out in shock when the people grip him, unable to hold it back for the sake of not scaring his daughter. Claire stays close and tries to help calm him down. 

Due to the number of injured people flocking to the hospitals, it takes the doctors a while to come by and examine his injuries but once they look him over they are quick to give him drugs for the pain and to fight off any infection. Castiel can’t understand what they are saying and feels very vulnerable, but he doesn’t try to stop them as they inject him with the drugs. He knows he is in a bad way and that he urgently needs help. 

“Claire,” Castiel starts to feel sleepy and he struggles to turn to Claire and murmurs, ”don’t let them separate us.”

“I won’t Papa. I’ll stay right with you. Promise.”

“Good girl,” he breathes out, “‘cause I’m not goin’ anywhere.” The corners of his mouth raise slightly as he looks into his daughter’s eyes and he reaches out for her hand. She steps closer and holds his hand as he drifts off to sleep, exhausted from the rough truck ride. Claire sits on the floor beside his bed, not letting go of his hand that hangs over the side of the narrow bed.

*

Time passes, more injured people are brought in, some bodies are wrapped and taken away. The hospital is dirty, overcrowded, and alive with movement. The sound of weeping mothers, angry and fearful fathers and wailing children fills the air. Doctors and nurses are rushing around, looking wary and stressed. There are volunteers helping out too, men and women from the nearby villages, writing names on lists, and trying to reunite families. 

A volunteer comes by to check on Castiel and finds him sleeping so she speaks to Claire, “Is this your father?”

“Yes,” Claire answers, trying not to cry. 

“Can you help me fill out this form with his information?” The woman asks, surprising them both with her British accent. Claire nods and does her best to help. She shows the nurse where her papa is injured and gives her the name of the resort where they were staying, as well as their home information. The woman talking to Claire has a black marker and asks her to hold out her arm. 

‘WINCHESTER - CLAIRE’ is written on her arm in big bold letters. Then the volunteer takes her papa’s arm and writes, ‘WINCHESTER - CASTIEL’. 

Castiel stirs and Claire leans close, “Papa, you sleep. The volunteer told me that there is a list of people’s names downstairs. I’m going to go find the list of people here and look for Dad’s name. I won't be gone long.”

“Come right back, baby girl.” He whispers brokenly, “Come right back.”

*

Whilst Castiel is sleeping, Claire wanders away from his bed, looking at all the horrifically injured people around them. She manages to find the list of names downstairs in the main lobby, the list is very long and some of the names are scribbled in so un-neatly that she can’t really make them out. She reads all that she can, grabbing a chair to stand on, so she can see the top of the list, which almost reaches the ceiling. She doesn’t find the name of her dad or brother. She isn’t sure if that’s good or bad, maybe that just means that they are not at this hospital. 

On her way back to her papa’s bedside, she notices a little boy laughing and playing peek-a-boo with a woman. Her heart skips when she realizes it's the mother and little boy from the resort, from the billboard. They’re alive! They’re here. Tears of joy fill her eyes and she feels so grateful to see that they made it. She waves at the little boy and runs back to tell her papa the good news.

“Papa,” Claire wakes him gently.

Castiel wakes up with a start, instantly aware that his throat is constricting. He struggles to take in a breath and makes disturbing retching sounds. His eyes look panicked and suddenly, he’s choking. Claire is by his side and yelling for help and a nurse quickly rushes over and rolls him to his side. As he starts gagging and trying to breathe, he clutches the side of the bed for support. Feeling his injuries pulling horribly as his whole body convulses. Coughing and gasping, he is desperate for some air. Even though he can hear Claire shouting his name and crying, he can’t respond. He feels large awful chunks of things coming up his throat and vomits out a frightening dark, bloody liquid. Bringing up seaweed and debris from the floodwater he had swallowed, while his stomach clenches painfully to help his body rid itself of the sickening detritus.

After Castiel settles, looking pale but finally breathing more freely, the nurse gives him something to help him rest. Claire relaxes once she knows he is alright and sits at the side of his bed again, while he sleeps after being so ill. She listens to the sounds of his breathing in case it sounds like he might be sick again, his breaths are quick and shallow sounding. 

Claire sits by his side for a long time before her rumbling stomach forces her to go and find something to eat and drink. She is worried about her papa being so weak and thinks that maybe some food will help him as well. Downstairs, she finds a table set up with lots of fruit and water bottles and she grabs an orange and a bottle of water to take back to share with her papa. She smiles as she walks back toward his bed, feeling grateful despite everything that had happened, that they are safe now, and together.

But when she reaches her papa’s bed, her heart drops to discover... it's empty. The dirty and bloody sheets have been removed and replaced with fresh, clean sheets. Her papa is nowhere to be seen and the file with his name and details on it, is gone. Alarmed, she calls out for him loudly but gets no response. Panic grips at her like ice and she drops the orange and water bottle to frantically begin looking around. She hurriedly checks some of the beds nearby in case they have had to move him, but none of the bruised faces and pain-filled eyes that she was met with were Castiel’s. 

“PAPA?!”


	4. Chapter 4

Thick mud squelches between bare toes as a man with a bloody rag wrapped around his arm treads carefully through a destroyed building. A building that only yesterday morning had stood proud and beautiful as ‘The Orchid Beach Resort’. The man's bloodshot eyes land on a familiar red ball that is rolling over the ground a little way ahead of him, pushed along by the gentle breeze. He sighs, his heart feeling heavy as he remembers how well the trip had started and how quickly it had turned into this terrifying nightmare. 

He clambers up to the highest peak of a slanted, crumbling rooftop, looking out over the decimated grounds of Khao Lak. His throat tightens and his eyes mist up with tears as fear engulfs him, somewhere out there, somewhere amongst the wreckage of buildings, the sludge, and the bodies was his family.

He turns on the spot, scanning the area, searching for any sign of his loved ones. He takes in the many fallen trees, the ruins of houses, the scattered rubble and garbage, the foul-smelling seaweed and tiny shimmering bodies of dead fish, the cars crushed into the sides of the few walls still standing. He sees other people looking lost and shell-shocked as they wander across the wasteland that the brutal wave had left behind. He hears them calling out for their families, he watches them bend down to check body, after body. Occasionally, they manage to pull someone from the mud, even more sporadically - that person is still alive. 

His voice is hoarse and scratchy from shouting, but he ignores it and coughs to clear his throat, before putting his hands around his mouth and shouting for his husband and daughter. 

When, once again, no response comes he crumples in despair to his knees and weeps. He doubles over, bending until his forehead is resting against the cold, damp metal of the rooftop. One hand is opened, clawing against the metal, the other tightens into a fist and bangs down in frustration as he calls out again, more to himself, more to any God that might be listening than to the area around him. 

“Cas!?” He sniffs, his body shuddering as it tries to take in a breath. His chest is tight as he cries, tears flowing freely down his face, “Cas! Claire! Please?” 

He sits up, leaning back on his ankles and wiping his eyes, before letting his hands drop uselessly into his lap. He looks down at his empty hands hopelessly. He looks but does not really see - as his tear-filled eyes blur and sting, tired from searching, still irritated from the sea water and utterly exhausted from the fear that had kept him awake all night and day. The fear that he may not find Castiel or Claire. The fear that he may never see them again. The fear that they were gone…

Dean sits back on the hard roof and closes his eyes. There is no way he can even imagine his life without Cas in it. He presses the heels of his hands to his eyes and fights back the tears. The grief floods through him as he remembers the first time they met. 

*

_He tugged down lightly on the cuff of his long-sleeved shirt, straightening out the creases as he examined his reflection in the mirror before him. Carefully, he folded the collar down and gently tamed a few stray hairs into place. His eyes met those of his own reflection and he sighed. Even though he had finally found something to wear that he was fairly happy with, he still wasn’t sure he wanted to go to his friend’s New Year’s Eve party, he had planned on spending the evening with Sam, drinking and playing darts._

_Did I iron this shirt?_

_Eh, who cares._

_Unfortunately, Sam had called him earlier that day to tell him, he’d been invited to a last-minute-put-together party with some friends. When he asked Dean if he minded him going there instead, explaining how this girl that he had been interested in for a while was going to be there, Dean said he didn’t. He had wished him luck in the pursuit of the lovely Jessica and hung up._

_Sam better make a god damn move tonight, the giant moose._

_He knew that his friend, Charlie, was also having a party and decided to ask if he was still ok to join, rather than bring in the new year alone. He got a response in a matter of seconds, ‘DUDE YES’._

_I knew I could count on you, Red._

_He had agonized over what to wear, even though he didn’t have a date he wanted to look good. Maybe, he’d get lucky, it was New Year’s after all. So, he dressed in the black jeans that he was told made his ass look great and a maroon button-down. He slipped on his boots and coat and headed out for the party. He arrived at around ten o’clock to find the party was already in full swing._

_Dean was greeted by several of his friends and they quickly steered him towards the bar when they realized he was still sober. Patting him on the back and cheering after watching him down his first shot. He got a beer and went in search of Charlie, giving her a huge hug when he found her._

_“Thanks for letting me crash your awesome party at short notice, Red.”_

_“No problem,” smiled Charlie, patting Dean on the chest fondly (her eyes shining a little from the several shots she’d already thrown back), “You know you’re always welcome here.”_

_Charlie’s the best._

_Not long later, Charlie gained the attention of a very beautiful friend of a friend and threw a wink over her shoulder to Dean as she walked her new ‘friend’ with purpose towards the stairs. Dean smirked and shook his head fondly, he stayed put downstairs, chatting away merrily to friends. He was enjoying watching the crowd, he knew most of the people, at least by sight if not by name._

_How does Charlie know so many people?_

_Now Dean was talking with a few friends he hadn’t seen in a while when someone in his peripheral vision catches his eye, he paused his conversation to take a better look at the striking man, across the room. Dean watched with increasing interest as the man walked up to the bar, he was wearing a blue button-down and tight fitted dark-wash jeans that hugged in all the right places. The man’s hair was tousled as though someone had been running their fingers through it, Dean wondered if it was the man himself or someone else._

_When the unknown man turned around Dean’s eyes locked with his, Dean’s breath caught in his throat as he took in the stunning shade of the intriguing blue eyes staring back at him. They seemed to get locked in the moment and Dean felt stuck, as though a bolt of lightning had passed between them, but no one else in the room was affected by it. Only him and the stranger who tilted his head to the side and smiled shyly at Dean. Dean smiled back, feeling a tight knot of excitement twist in his stomach._

_Holy shit, he’s hot._

_Dean quickly got himself out of the conversation he was in, as politely as possible. Then he made his way around the room toward the bar. He was cut off by a couple of other friends on his way and hugged them, wishing them a happy new year before moving on. He doesn’t want to seem like he’s being rude, but he feels a need to meet the stranger._

_By the time he arrived at the bar, the man was no longer there and Dean felt an unexplainable stab of disappointment, he decided to grab a beer anyway. Beer in hand Dean turned to search the room and bumped right into the object of his desire, nearly spilling his beer all down the man’s front. His heart skipped and he got instantly caught in the other man’s gaze._

_“Sorry.” stammered the man, he still had that adorable shy smile on his face and Dean couldn’t help but grin back._

_Oh my god, that voice is pure sex._

_“It was my fault…” said Dean pausing to give the opportunity for the man to give him his name._

_“Castiel.”_

_“Castiel,” repeated Dean, “I’m Dean.”_

_Dean’s eyebrow raised a the light blush blooming over Castiel’s face._

_Castiel leaned close enough for Dean to hear him over the music. “I was actually hoping to bump into you… maybe not quite so literally but, yeah…”_

_Oh my god, he smells good!_

_Dean smiled he felt excited that Castiel was interested enough to have been looking for him. He placed his hand on Castiel's shoulder to keep him close so he can be heard, “Well, we certainly bumped into each other,” said Dean, plastering on a flirtatious smile, “Would you, maybe, like to step out on the balcony so we can talk?”_

_Please, say yes._

_Castiel nodded and allowed Dean to lead him through the doors to the balcony. They talked and flirted and laughed, and Dean’s instant attraction to Castiel only intensified the more time he spent with him. Before they knew it Charlie was hollering that it was almost midnight and that if people wanted to watch the ball drop on the TV they’d better get back in the living room._

_Not now, Red!!_

_Dean and Cas exchanged glances, silently questioning each other- with a subtle head shake it was decided that they were happy to stay on the balcony with each other and listen as their friends joined in the countdown._

_Score!_

_Dean took a careful step toward Castiel, eyes full of hopeful question. He smirked when he noticed Castiel’s gaze had landed on his lips, deciding to go for broke, he drags his teeth over his bottom lip before suggestively swiping his tongue over it to moisten it. Castiel’s cheeks heat up and his eyes flicked up to meet Dean’s. There is a heavy tension in the air around them. Dean can hear the noise of talking and singing from inside and the steady thumping of his own heart as he took another step nearer to the gorgeous man in front of him._

_Castiel’s eyes closed and he leaned into Dean’s touch, when Dean took Castiel’s face in his hands and pulled him gently closer._

_“This ok, Cas?” Dean asked quietly, as though afraid to break the moment._

_With an eager nod, Castiel wrapped one hand around the back of Dean’s neck and the other landed on his hip. Staring into each other’s eyes, they move in slowly with the last few seconds of the count down. 4… 3… 2… being shouted out in the background._

_Here goes everything._

_Their lips met softly at first, to a chorus of ‘Happy New Year’ close by. Dean tilts Castiel’s head just a little as Castiel pulls Dean’s hips a little closer. Deepening the kiss, Castiel moans and opens up for Dean and Dean takes everything he is offered. He slides his tongue along Castiel’s, feeling a spark of arousal deep in his belly, sending out shockwaves of want throughout his entire body. He lightly sucked Castiel’s bottom lip into his mouth and bit down on it gently which drew another low groan from Castiel._

_Fuck me, he can kiss._

_Moving apart slowly, but before he allowed him to escape too far, Dean gave Castiel another peck on the lips. Dean was panting, completely overwhelmed by the kiss, he blinked slowly and met Castiel’s eyes again. Castiel’s eyes were twinkling with desire and he smiled flirtily at Dean. Dean grinned back, a bit shyly, rubbing his thumb across Castiel’s cheek._

_“That was…”_

_Dean stood so close to Castiel, he felt it when the other man’s phone began to vibrate in his pocket, breaking his train of thought. Castiel frowned and dug his phone out of his jeans; he gave Dean an apologetic look as he checked the message._

_Castiel looked up from his phone and his happy, flirty expression - had vanished. He took a step backwards, meeting Dean’s eyes with regret and guilt, “I’m sorry, I have to go.”_

_Noooo. What the hell?_

_“...” Dean didn’t know what to say, ‘stay, don’t go, can I see you again’..._

_Castiel leaned forward and gave Dean an abrupt kiss on his cheek, “Thank you for a wonderful time, happy new year.”_

_As Dean watched Castiel walk away from him, he overheard him answering his phone, “I told you not to call me, Balthazar! Right. Well, what’s the emergency? Yes, fine. I’m on my way now...”_

_Balthazar? What kind of name is that?_

_Shitty fucking timing Balthazar._

_Dean stood there alone for a few minutes after Castiel had left, feeling disappointed... When he finally rejoined the party, he searched the whole house for Charlie._

_Ah crap, I’m going to do something stupid here aren’t I?_

_Fuck it, he is worth it._

_There was no way he could just let Castiel disappear out of his life, he needed to get his phone number. He needed to see him again._

*

Dean gathers himself, forcing his fears for his family deep down, he leaves his post on the slanted rooftop and trudges back to the other side of the resort, feeling defeated and exhausted. The once beautiful resort is now in ruins. He takes the stairs up to one of the rooms, where there is a piled up stack of rickety furniture, that leads up to a hole in the roof. He sets his foot down on a wobbly desk and tries to climb up but the makeshift ladder collapses under him and he falls with a yelp, tumbling down and crashing to the floor, letting out an ‘oof’ as the wind is knocked from him. Pain explodes in his chest and seems to spread like a firework going off inside him, it shoots through him like electricity and he curses loudly. With a low groan, he lets his head drop back against the floor.

Above him, another man’s head appears in the hole in the roof, he looks down at him in concern, “Hey, are you alright?” 

With a pained expression, Dean clutches his side, panting as he tries to get his breath back. 

_Pretty sure I’ve just broken a rib and this is the worst day of my life,_

_but yeah, frigging peachy…_

“I’m okay. I just need to catch my breath,” Dean grits out, hissing through his teeth to fight back the pain, “Will you tell ’em I’m back?” 

The man nods and disappears from the hole. Dean swipes some dirt from his face and looks up into the sky, the brilliant blue looks oddly familiar and comforting. He imagines Cas is looking up at the same sky, right now, wondering where he is. He feels as though the sky is Castiel looking down on him, suddenly he can place that wondrous shade of blue, Castiel’s eyes. He looks up, smiling slightly at the thought that his husband is somehow watching over him, but sombering at the thought that if Castiel is watching over him from the sky… their last kiss. Would be ‘their last kiss’. He frowns at the now treacherous seeming heavens and the false comforts they offer.

He doesn’t want Castiel to be ‘watching over him’, he wants him in his arms, he doesn’t want that warm enticing blue sky, he wants to look into Castiel’s eyes and see ‘home’ there. He doesn’t want their last kiss to be… their ‘last kiss’. He wants thousands more and he knows even that would never be enough. 

_I miss you so much, Cas._

Suddenly, Jack’s face appears above him, looking down at him with wide eyes from the hole in the roof, his face lights up with relief as he spots Dean. 

_There he is, he’s okay. He’s fine._

“Dad! You’re back!” he calls, then Dean’s heart breaks as he sees his son's eyes scanning the rest of the room, searching for his papa and sister. When Jack’s eyes finally meet his again, they’re sadder this time and Jack asks quietly, “You didn’t find them?” 

“Not yet, but we will,” says Dean, trying to sound more confident than he actually feels. 

_I’ll find them if it's the last thing I do._

Dean manages to smile when he sees his son, despite everything else, Cas and Claire being missing, he is thrilled that Jack is still here with him, safe and relatively unharmed. He is thankful that he was at least able to do one thing right and save his son. He knows Jack misses his papa and sister every bit as much as he does and he makes an unspoken promise to do everything he can to find them.

Dean watches nervously as his son carefully clambers down and sits beside him.

“Careful, son,” Dean warns as he sits up when Jack reaches him he pulls him into a tight hug, ignoring how bad it hurts his ribs. He lets out a shaky breath and looks into Jack’s face, “Love you, kiddo.” 

Jack smiles sadly up at him, “Love you too, dad. I wish Claire and papa were here too. I want to go home!” 

_So do I, so frigging much!_

“As soon as we find them, we’ll go home. We just have to keep looking a little bit longer.”

Dean gets up with a grunt and begins to restack the furniture, testing it for stability as he goes. Once he feels it’s safe, he helps Jack climb up first then follows, slowly and carefully, climbing up to the roof to join the rest of the survivors who are waiting warily for help to come. 

With his son snuggled into his side, Dean wraps his arm around Jack’s shoulders and turns his gaze back to the sea… shuddering involuntarily as the memory of the wave hitting comes crashing back. 

*

_They were playing catch in the pool, him, Jack and Claire. Dean looked up towards their suite and noticed Castiel arrive at the poolside. He waved, smiling when Cas waved back. Jack and Claire had started shouting at him, they had pointed up at the red ball that was flying through the air. Dean had jumped through the water aiming to catch the ball but he had missed and the ball had sloshed its way over toward Jack._

_Jack excitedly grabbed for the ball and threw it upwards, locking his hands together, he batted his fists upwards and knocked the ball over Claire’s head. She rolled her eyes at him, faking annoyance and turned to climb out of the pool. She smiled at Jack as she grabbed the ball and waved to Castiel, who had been watching them play._

_Dean noticed the birds first, he looked up in awe at the hundreds, maybe even thousands of birds heading inland above them._

_What the hell, what’s going on?_

_Don’t you dare shit on me._

_His eyes followed them curiously for a few moments, before a distant strangled cry from the direction of the beach drew his attention back that way._

_What the fuck?_

_At first, he doesn’t believe his eyes. The wave was huge, reaching over the tops of the buildings and trees. A giant mass of dark water looming towards them. The sound of roaring water reached his ears along with the sounds of people screaming._

_Oh my god..._

_The water was coming. There was nothing he could do to stop it. There was no way they could get out of the way in time. His family were trapped in its path of destruction, Jack, Claire… Cas. Dean looked back at his husband and saw the fear in his face as their eyes met. Dean heard Castiel yelling, “DEAN! GET JACK!”_

_Dean quickly looked over to where his young son was crying and cowering against the sidewall of the pool, his eyes were wide with fear as he stared up in horror at the approaching wave..._

_“Jack...” Dean muttered brokenly to himself before diving forward into the pool towards his boy. He managed to grab Jack’s arm before the water suddenly surged upward and darkened. Jack wrapped himself around his dad and clung on tightly as Dean fought desperately to find the surface again._

_They were hurled around below the surface by the powerful current. Dean tried to keep his eyes on the surface, on the glimmering daylight above them but the darkening, rank water forced him to close them. He held onto Jack firmly, securing his son to him with both arms locked around him._

_Hold on, Jack, hold on._

_Finally, they breached the surface of the water and instantly Dean made sure his son was still breathing. They were still being swept along by the rushing water but at least they could breathe again. Dean noticed a wall straight ahead of them and he fought the water so that he and his son wouldn’t get slammed into the concrete. The water whirled through the building and Dean felt like he was being pulled through the rapids of a rushing river. He could feel the debris in the water slamming against his body. He held on tight to Jack with one arm while trying to swim them to safety._

_Dean spotted a mattress floating not far from them, he struggled to carry his son over to it. When they reached it, he lifted Jack up on top of it, clinging on to the side as he looked around them. Panic set in when all he could see was water in every direction. His eyes scoured the water, they picked out the few trees and building rooftops that were still standing, hunting every inch of them but Castiel and Claire were nowhere to be seen._

_Cas? Claire? Where are they?_

_“CAS!?” he bellowed, looking about with a sinking feeling in his gut._

_“CLAIRE!?”_

_But there was no reply._

_Nothing but the thunderous sound of rushing water._

_No, no, no. This can’t be happening._

_Dean and Jack were able to safely ride out the movement of the water on their makeshift lifeboat. When the water level began to drop, Dean maneuvered the mattress toward the rooftop of the resort. Dean felt hope bloom in his chest when they were joined by other survivors, every time someone approached, his heart had leaped at the thought that it would be Castiel and Claire… only to be crushed when it was just another nameless stranger._

_Come on Cas, where are you?_

_The small group sat on the roof, huddled together as people tend to do after such a tragedy. There was a big hole in the roof that led into one of the upper rooms. As the water slowly went down, Dean and another man discussed traversing the hole and finding out if they could get down and off the roof. They waited on the roof until the water was low enough that they could try to climb down safely. A few people went in search of freshwater and food and brought what they found back to the group to be shared out. Everyone helped and comforted each other._

_***_

By sunset, no help had come and Dean realizes he and Jack are in for a rough night. He asks Jack to count the glistening stars above them to keep him busy and to keep his mind off their bleak situation. Dean watches his son’s eyes light up in wonder as he excitedly points out more and more stars as they start to appear in the darkening sky.

“Claire loves to look at the stars,” Jack said softly. Not quite meeting his dad’s gaze as though afraid that it was somehow bad to bring up his missing sister. 

_She’ll never get to use the telescope we got her…_

_Shut up. YES, she will._

_Maybe..._

Dean hugs his son a little tighter. “Yes, she does.” He agrees, kissing his son on the top of his head, “I bet she’s looking up at them right now and thinking about you.” His throat tightens with emotion as he thinks of his daughter out there somewhere, hopefully not alone. 

Jack makes a choked whimpering sound and clings to his dad as he almost begs, “Can I stay up with you? I don’t want to go to sleep.” He tucks his head into Dean’s chest, “Please?” 

_Right now, you can have whatever the hell you want that I can give you!_

“Sure, buddy. You can stay up with me as long as you can keep your eyes open.” Dean knows that Jack needs to rest but what good would it do to try to force him to fall asleep, it would only add to Jack's distress. He knows Jack will fall asleep when he’s ready and not before. 

Jack rests against his dad's side, soaking up the comfort. His eyes close and after several minutes Dean thinks that maybe Jack has fallen asleep in his arms because he has been quiet for a while. 

But then his son shifts against him and whispers, “Dad? I’m scared. What if we never find them?”

_We have to. It can’t, it can’t end like this..._

Dean feels a lump in his throat, he wants to promise his son that they will find his papa and sister. But how can he make such a promise? He can’t even be sure that they are still alive. Looking down into his son’s wide eyes, he feels his heartbreak just a little more. 

“Jack, I promise you that I won’t stop looking for your papa and sister. But for now, we are going to stay and see if they come back here to us.”

Dean holds his son in his arms, looking over the scratches and cuts on his skin, he feels his small body shaking against him. Jack is crying into his chest and struggling to fall asleep without knowing where his papa and Claire are. Dean doesn’t know what to say, he feels those fears just as deeply as Jack does and although he would give anything to take away his son’s pain and fear, he won’t make promises he doesn’t know that he’ll be able to keep. He won’t lie and say that everything will be fine, he wants to believe that it will be but what if he told Jack things would be okay and then… they weren’t. 

His fear seems to make him itch, with the desire to do something, to go out and find Castiel and Claire and not just sit there, waiting. He wants to go out and turn over every stone until he finds them. He wants to scream their names into the cooling night sky and pray that they hear him and respond. But there are injured people here, sleeping children who need rest and logically he knows that if Castiel and Claire are alive, and able… going back to the resort would be their first stop in the search for Dean and Jack. 

_So where are they?_

He feels his heart grow heavy, but he has to look after his son, so he cradles him in his arms, gently rocking him against his body and humming. His humming takes on the tune of ‘Stand by Me’, it was his and Cas’s wedding song, and soon the words just start to flow naturally, quiet and soothing. He remembers holding Castiel against him in a hug much like this, they had swayed together to that song at their wedding. The memory of it makes Dean’s throat feel tight and his eyes mist up...

“ _When the night has come_

_And the land is dark_

_And the moon is the only light we'll see_

_No I won't be afraid, no I won't be afraid_

_Just as long as you stand, stand by me...”_

*

Dean remembers their wedding with bittersweet fondness, he remembers how amazing Cas had looked in his suit and he remembers how happy everyone had been for them. He remembers in gut-wrenching detail how they’d promised each other ‘the rest of their lives’ and he hopes that that hadn’t already passed. It would be too soon, he can’t do this without Cas. They still have years, they have plans together. They are supposed to grow old together, watch Claire and Jack grow up into the wonderful adults they are sure to become. 

_Cas has to see his kids grow up_

_Both of them._

He stills as tears blur his vision, not wanting to wake his son who had finally fallen asleep. He misses Castiel. He can feel his chest shaking slightly as he tries to hold in his sobs. What is he supposed to do? He finds himself wishing Castiel could tell him, how to find him… that Castiel could tell him what to do and that it would be alright in the end…

He wishes that Jack and Claire hadn’t come with them; if he knew they were both safe at home, he’d set off and search for Cas himself. But Jack is far too young to be trekking through sea-swamped lands, where there are bound to be dangers and bodies lurking around every corner. He wants to shield his son from seeing the inevitable horrors that the wave will surely have left in its wake. Not to mention he has no idea where to look, finding Castiel and Claire could take days… weeks. 

He needs to do something, to search… _anything._ He won’t leave Jack's side for long, just a quick walk around to feel as though he was actually trying. He remembers Castiel’s last words to him had been to ‘get Jack’ so he isn’t about to fail in protecting their son but he has to _do_ something. He’ll just look for a few minutes, then return to his son - he can’t let Castiel, or Jack down like that. Just ten minutes. 

_Jack will be ok for ten minutes,_

_I can’t just sit here and do nothing..._

Dean gently lays down his sleeping son and walks over to the edge of the roof, staring out into the darkness, both hoping and praying that Cas and Claire are somewhere safe. He thinks about trying to get some sleep, but his ribs hurt so much and his brain won’t allow him to relax. He decides to go out looking, just as he promised himself - only ten minutes. It’s dark and he can’t see too much apart from where the beam of the flashlight falls. 

He spies a pile of broken trees and debris and climbs over one of the trunks looking to see if there is anyone tangled up in the mess. He takes another step forward but his stomach lurches when the ground beneath his feet, suddenly, gives way. Feeling himself dropping he reaches out but is unable to grab onto anything to stop his fall, landing unevenly and slipping backward. Slamming his head onto something hard on the ground.

His vision whites out for a moment and when his head starts to clear again, there is nothing but darkness. Trying to sit up makes him feel sick, so he stills and waits for the nausea to pass, before trying again. When he feels steady enough, he sits up and roots around for his flashlight, tugging it free from the sludge it has landed in. He wipes the mud from the lens against his shorts and tests the button. Relief washes over him when it flickers to life. 

_Phew_

Relief that is short-lived, however, when he puts a hand up to his head and pulls it away sharply with a hiss upon feeling a hot, sticky substance coating his fingers. Looking at his hand under the glow of his flashlight, his stomach flips when he sees the blood - a lot of blood. He has cut his head open and is bleeding badly.

_Fan-freaking-tastic_

He feels dizzy, and angry with himself for being so careless with his own wellbeing when Jack is nearby and depending on him. It takes him some time to climb out of the hole while trying to keep hold of the flashlight. The sides are steep and slippery with waterlogged earth and his head is pounding painfully. 

_I really fucked up, that could have been really bad._

Feeling foolish and discouraged, he makes his way carefully back to the roof to be by his son’s side, making sure to test the path ahead with a long stick to ensure he has no more accidents.

When he finally arrives back at the rooftop, he speaks to the man who had been watching over Jack while he was gone. 

“Did you see anyone?” asks the man hopefully. Dean shakes his head slightly, wincing as his head throbs at the movement. The man deflated, nodding his understanding. He looks back up at Dean and notices the blood on him, he steps forward to get a better look at Dean’s injury, “What happened?”

Dean sighs, “I fell into some goddamn hole and had to climb out. Smacked my head on something.”

_Like a complete idiot_

“Let’s take a look,” offers the man, placing his hands gently on either side of Dean’s head and tilting it down to look at the cut. “We should clean this up, well as best as we can, and try to find something to bandage the wound.”

“I think cleaning it will be about all we can do for now,” says Dean. 

The man turns away from Dean and bends over to root through a plastic bag, he pulls out a small bottle of water, as he begins pouring it carefully over the cut, he says “You know you shouldn’t be going out there at night, it’s too dark and dangerous. You have your son here, he is depending on you.” 

_He really is, fuck… What if I…_

_What if something were to happen to me?_

_Who’d take care of Jack. Shit. I can’t let him be left on his own…_

_He’s just a baby._

Dean nods numbly and the pain rushes through his scalp, suddenly he feels light-headed and has to sit down. The man kneels beside him, concerned. Dean looks up at the man with pleading eyes and a serious expression, “I need to ask you something… If... if anything happens to me, will you, will you please keep my boy safe? Will you make sure he gets home, to my brother… Sam. Make sure he gets to Sam Winchester. Please?”

“If anything happens to you, you have my word… I’ll look out for your boy.” 

“Thank you,” says Dean lying back and closing his eyes, “thank you…” 

*

The next morning some trucks arrive to carry the survivors to safety. The group of people Dean was sheltering with are all preparing to leave, they gather around one of the trucks, waiting for instructions. Dean doesn’t want to leave. This was the last place he saw Castiel and Claire and he still believes this is the first place they would look for him and Jack. He is afraid that they might come back and he wouldn’t be there…

_Cas and Claire could come back here, would they think we are dead?_

He doesn’t know where else they would look and leaving feels like he is abandoning his post. He wishes he could leave them a clue, or a sign as to where the trucks would be taking them. He wishes he knew if there would be more trucks coming back to this area, what if Castiel and Claire come back only to get left behind? 

_What do I do?_

_I don’t know what the fuck I’m meant to do?_

_Cas, I need your help!_

The same man that was on the roof with Dean and Jack comes over to them with sadness in his eyes. “These are the last trucks and they don’t know when or if more trucks are coming here. We need to leave, they will take us to a shelter or a hospital. Maybe someone can take a look at your head.”

Dean realizes he has an important decision to make and tries not to think about how badly it could go wrong if he doesn’t make the right one. Deciding to fight the urge to stay, he agrees to go with the other survivors on the truck and get his son somewhere safer. He hopes he is making the right choice. 

Jack looks up at his dad and tugs on his hand, “We’re not ‘giving up’, we’re just looking somewhere else, right?” he asks, sounding far too mature for a six-year-old. 

_We’re not giving up._

_Huh, when did you become the grown up?_

“Course we’re not giving up, I made you a promise, didn’t I?” 

They, and several other people they are grouped with, climb into the back of a truck. The roads are littered with debris and in many places are completely buried under mounds of silt and sand. 

Dean keeps an eye out for Cas and Claire, whilst also trying to prevent Jack from seeing anything that will scare him. He wants to protect him from all the death and destruction around them, as he knows it will only make Jack worry more about his papa and Claire. Dean knows Jack is sneaking glances from the side of the truck when he hears his horrified little gasps every so often. So, he tucks him into his side and tells him to close his eyes. 

_Don’t look, baby. Don’t look._

_You don’t need to see this shit._

Dean can see all the injured people walking or resting along the roadside. There are rows of people wrapped in tarps and plastic sheets on the ground and Dean is grateful that he’d already told Jack not to look. He wouldn’t want his son to see this, as he knows that even Jack would understand that those people are dead. He prays that Castiel and Claire are not amongst the bodies. 

_Castiel, you can not be under one of those sheets._

_I swear to god._

The truck is packed full of exhausted people and the ride is extremely uncomfortable. The road is littered with rubble and shakes the truck violently whenever they drive over any bumps, jarring Dean’s ribs painfully, but he tries not to let it show for Jack's sake. 

They stop at several different shelters and hospitals, the group getting smaller with each stop as some people offload at the shelters. Dean jumps out and quickly checks the list of names at each place, never seeing Cas or Claire listed. The other family they are traveling with have a son about Claire’s age and he had been making Jack laugh, by pulling silly faces at him. So, as Dean gets off the truck at the next stop he asks them to keep an eye on Jack for him and takes the list of names of their missing loved ones with him to check for on the registry. 

_Where are you, Castiel!?_

They stop at a shelter for the night. Jack falls asleep fairly quickly, lying next to his new friend from the truck ride. Dean stays close by, but once again is unable to rest, he talks to a small group of people. They are each telling stories of their families and people that they have lost and trying to comfort each other. Dean struggles to get through his story of Cas and Claire, talking about them in the past tense feels oddly like a betrayal - as though he has already given up. He hates how it sounds that way when that couldn’t be further from the truth. He would never give up.

_I’ll never give up on either of you._

_Castiel, Claire, I will find you._

“Have you talked to anyone back home?” one of the men in the small group asks, his wife is sleeping next to him, her head is wrapped in bandages.

Dean looks at him with tears of anguish in his eyes, “No. I haven’t been able to use a phone.”

“I have a phone. We’ve already been in touch with our family. So, you can use it for a few minutes.” The man reaches into his pocket and pulls out a cell phone. “I was saving the battery to update my family. But you should call your people back home to let them know you’re safe.” 

“Oh, no I couldn’t…” Dean looks into the man’s eyes and sees nothing but kindness. He takes the phone from him with trembling hands and dials. 

Almost immediately the call is picked up and he hears a desperate, “Dean? Is that you?” 

_Fuck it’s good to hear his voice._

_Help me Sam!_

“Sammy?” Dean feels weak with emotion at the sound of his brother’s voice.

“Holly shit, Dean. Thank God! It’s so good to hear from you! Where are you? Are you alright? The kids alright?” Sam’s words are rushed and Dean starts shaking at the thought of having to tell his brother that he has lost his husband and his daughter. 

Choking back tears, he manages to ask, “I’m ok, Sam, have you heard from Cas?” 

“He’s not with you?” 

_Sam hasn’t heard from him, Cas didn’t call him..._

_Where the hell is he?_

Dean’s voice cracks, “I… He, Claire… They were just… gone.” He gasps in a deep breath as he begins to break down, rough sobs making it difficult to speak, “Jack’s here, he’s ok, I have him. I have Jack… but they, Claire… Cas. I don’t know, I can’t stay on the call Sammy, people are waiting to use the p-phone. If he calls, I’m ok. I have Jack - you tell him. Tell Cas, I have Jack.”

_He can’t be dead, he can’t._

Feeling massively overwhelmed Dean hangs up. Sobbing as he tries to hand the man back his phone but the man refuses to take it from him, “You can’t leave things like that. Please, call back.” 

Dean sniffs and straightens up, calming himself down enough so that he can speak to Sam again, properly.

“Dean?” says Sam, sounding hugely relieved that he had called back.

“Sam, listen. I am not going to stop looking, okay?”

“I know.” 

“I won’t give up, I’ll find them and I’ll call you when I do, okay?” 

“Okay, Dean.”

“I’ll find them,” Dean promises, both to himself and his brother.

“I know you will,” says Sam with certainty.

“We were together and he, Cas shouted at me to get Jack… The water was coming and I just… I dove toward him, and shielded him, but when we broke the surface… Sammy… They were just… gone.”

“You’ll find them, Dean, you will. Be careful, alright? Call me as soon as you can...”

“I love you.” 

“I love you, too. Dean, I’ll see you very soon, okay? You’ll be home again with Cas and Claire and Jack. You will!” 

“Bye Sammy.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We hope you are enjoying the story so far, please drop a comment to let us know. Thank you for reading <3


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> See end notes for chapter warning

“PAPA!?” Claire cries out, looking around frantically. Her eyes dart from one weary person to another. So many patients and no sign of her papa. She completely forgets the water and orange that she had dropped. Turning back to the bed her papa had been in only a handful of minutes ago, she can tell with increasing panic… the sheets had been changed.

_Maybe I came back to the wrong bed?_

_No, he was here, he was just right here..._

The hairs on her arms prickle as a chill sweeps through her. She shivers, trembling slightly as she stares at the empty bed. The whole time, from the wave hitting until now, she’d been afraid but now, a terror settled in her gut that made her want to run away screaming from the nightmare that had somehow become her life. 

_I can’t be alone!_

_I can’t be the only one that survived!_

_I can’t have lost my whole family!_

_How will I get home?_

_What will happen to me?_

This can’t be real. Papa was just here… he has to be here somewhere… he just has to. 

“Papa…” she cries brokenly, “Where are you?”

Fear and confusion make her feel powerless, barely anyone here speaks English - and they are all already busy trying to save lives - she can’t find her voice enough to ask for help and she feels in the way and angry. This can't happen. 

Claire turns on the spot looking through the crowds of injured people for her papa. She recognizes the woman from the bed next to where he had been lying, she is still there, but Castiel is nowhere to be seen. An icy dread twists through her and her heart begins to race. The sight of all the blood, the smell of sickness, the sound of people crying and wailing all around her turns her stomach. She feels ill at the thought that her papa could be dead. Feeling dizzy and faint she wants to scream but all that comes out of her are the heavy tears that begin to trickle down her cheeks. 

_Where is he?_

_Why would they move him?_

_I can’t be alone..._

“Papa!”

“Where is he? Where’s my papa?” Finding her voice, she screams at a passing nurse, and the volunteer from earlier rushes over to come and quieten her down. She is distraught and furious and now that she’s started, she can’t seem to stop crying. Hands land on her arms and shoulders, trying to stop her shaking, to calm her down. But she doesn’t want to calm down, she fights with the two women trying to help her, refusing to be soothed, “He was right here! Where did he go? What have you done to him!?” 

_He wouldn’t leave me._

Gulping in huge breaths, she runs her hands through her long blond hair. Her fingers catch against mats and knots; her usually beautiful locks are caked in dirt and she pulls her fingers roughly free from the tangles. She’s shaking, sobbing, desperate for air. Her chest is heavy and her mind is spinning at a thousand miles an hour. 

“Where. Is. He!?” she demands again, “He wouldn’t leave me. He can’t!”

She turns away from the two women, who are looking at her with increasing pity and concern, she can’t bear to look at their faces. Her eyes travel quickly over the other beds on the ward, the other injured people and she is trembling as she shouts out. 

“YOU PROMISED WE WOULD BE OKAY! PAPA!! YOU PROMISED YOU WOULDN’T LEAVE ME!!” 

“Please, come with me?” The volunteer asks with a sorrowful look in her eyes as she tries to gently steer Claire away from the other patients.

“No! I have to find my papa!” Claire yells, “What have you done with him? PAPA? PAPA?”

_He can’t be gone._

_He can’t be dead._

Claire pulls away from the woman and paces up and down the row between the beds trying to figure out what could have happened, where they could have taken him. Why will no one just tell her where he is? Her mind briefly entertains the idea that they are hiding him from her. Or that maybe he felt better and went to look for her… Maybe he just needed the toilet and he’d be back in a few moments. 

She spots a couple of hospital workers trying to put someone in _his_ empty bed and screams at them, “No! What are you doing? You can’t! That’s my papa’s bed! PAPA!?”

She feels it hit her like a punch to the gut, like the wave, hitting her all over again, she feels herself floating. She has no control, her dad, her baby brother, and now… her papa is lost. 

The feeling of being alone, the pain of the loss, the thought that she might never see any of her family ever again… makes her panic and she cries out as the volunteer tries to pull her away from the bed. The tears fall thick and fast, her chest heaves violently and her head is heavy with fog and a building ache from overstimulation of the situation. 

“I’m so sorry. Please, come with me.” The volunteer says. Her features are soft with pity and sorrow for the girl. 

Claire finally acquiesces and follows the woman. Taking deep gasps of breath to try and stop sobbing. 

_I’ll be fine, I’ll find papa._

_He’s not dead, he’s not._

The tired but kind-looking woman takes her to a tent outside the hospital, Claire can see that there are several other children sitting around in the tent. Some are coloring or talking quietly with other children, others are comforting each other, younger children cry in the arms of older children, a few are sleeping, curled up together on thin blankets. It’s as if the floor swoops out from under her when Claire realizes that these children have also lost their parents, her legs feel weak and she wants to sit down. 

“Is this your name, sweetheart?” The woman asks pulling Claire from her thoughts as she points to her arm.

“What?” Claire looks down at her arm where her name is written in bold black letters. “Yes, it is.”

_Please don’t let me be all alone._

The woman nods her understanding and writes her name on a sticker, placing it carefully on Claire’s shirt. 

Claire looks at the sticker and then looks around again at the other children who all have similar stickers on them. She is shocked into silence and just stares out at the room. She can’t believe her papa is gone. She is all alone. She sinks down to the ground and sits, emotionally exhausted staring at her name on her arm, her papa had his name on his arm too, somehow now the scratchy pen marks on her skin felt gravely important, she didn’t want to wash it off. She wanted to remember her papa, her dad, Jack… 

Her gaze lifts and numbly, she watches the other children. Orphans, probably. How many people have been lost? How many mothers, fathers, and children? Why had this happened? Why had no one warned them? Who was to blame?

_What if we had gotten here sooner?_

_Would papa still be … alive?_

_No, he has to be alive. He is._

“Where were you staying?” The woman asks as she kneels beside Claire, “Do you remember the name?” 

“At the... Um… at the Orchid Beach Resort in … in Khao Lak.” She remembers her Dad drilling that into her head while they were at the beach, she could tell her their room number if that was necessary. 

_Because they always made sure we were safe…_

_They always looked after us._

_I can’t be the only one left._

_Dad and Jack have to be alive._

_Please?_

“Is there someone we can call for you?” The woman asks as she writes Claire’s information in a notebook. 

Claire looks at her hands, “My Uncle Sam. But, I don’t remember his phone number.”

_Why didn’t I memorize Uncle Sam’s number?_

_I remember the house phone number._

_But no one will be there now, will they?_

_Will I even live there anymore?_

The woman looks into her eyes sadly and pats her hands, “That’s okay. You just stay right here and try and get some rest. I’ll come back and check on you later.”

Claire nods warily. She wraps her arms around her knees and buries her head in the crook of her arms, crying quietly for quite a while before she can’t stand sitting still any longer. She gets to her feet and walks slowly around the tent looking at the other children, most of them are younger than her. Looking closely, she can see the fear and confusion on their little faces and understands just how they feel. The thought hits her that Jack could be in a place like this all alone and she gasps at the image.

Her baby brother could be annoying at times, he might occasionally break her toys, or scribble all over one of her drawings - but she loves him. He is sweet and gentle and loves animals and when they do play together, he always shares with her. They look after each other when they are poorly, Jack sometimes even lets Claire borrow his favorite teddy… 

‘To make you feel better.’ he’d tell her. He is too young to die, too innocent to be lost, she loves him too much to be able to accept that he is just - gone. 

_I’ll be good, I swear I’ll be good… please_

_I’ll do anything, just please let Papa still be alive._

_Let Jack and Dad be okay._

* 

After some time, another volunteer asks Claire to come up to a table on the far side of the tent. Claire cautiously agrees and follows her, taking a seat on the opposite side of the table from her. Claire watches, her brows knitted together in confusion as the woman empties a small clear plastic bag of items carefully on to the surface of the table in front of her, “Do any of these look familiar to you?” The woman asks kindly, watching Claire’s reaction.

Claire blinks through a frown and looks down at the items laid out before her. She turns away, unable to stop the fresh bout of tears from gliding quietly down her face when she realizes the depth of what she is being asked. These were someone’s belongings, they belonged to someone who’d recently died. She finds herself suddenly unable to look at the trinkets on the table, fearing that she’d recognize something of her papa’s. 

“I know this is hard, but please, we need you to look at the items and tell us if anything is familiar.”

Claire takes a deep, calming breath and tries again to look more closely at the items. The first thing she sees is a silver banded watch. She knows her papa wasn’t wearing a watch, he rarely wears one when he isn’t working. She’s seen him, more often than she can count, checking his phone for the time. Feeling a touch more hopeful, her gaze passes from the watch to the next item, the first of two rings. 

The first ring is a gold sovereign style ring, with what appears to be a man riding a horse engraved on it. Her hope clings on inside her, her papa would never have worn something like this. She shakes her head, crossing her fingers in her palms as she looks at the final item. A silver wedding band. Her heart clenches; her papa wears a ring like this. 

With trembling fingers, she picks up the ring, ignoring the intense gaze of the woman watching her, and brings it closer to her eyes for inspection. On the outside, the ring is a plain silver band, a style which Castiel does wear. _‘I don’t think a diamond is my style, this is far more understated, it’s classy and simple and I love it. Don’t you?’_ she remembers him saying when she’d asked why it didn’t have a diamond when she was younger. 

She looked on the inside of the ring, she remembers exactly what was engraved on her papas, her dad calls him it all the time, ‘ _My Angel’._ This ring, however, reads, ‘ _Always and forever._ ’ She almost drops it when she gasps with relief.

“I don’t … no, no nothing looks familiar. Neither of those is my papa’s ring, and he didn’t have a watch on.”

_None of these are Papa’s._

_Does that mean he’s not dead?_

“Thank you, sweetheart.” says the woman, as she puts the items back into the clear plastic bag. Claire watches her pick up a tatty looking folding from the ground next to the table and place it in front of her, “I’m so sorry to ask you, but I need you to look through these, too.”

With a frustrated nod, Claire reaches her hand out to open the folder, freezing when the volunteers hand quickly, yet gently lands on hers, stopping her. She looks up at the other woman with questioning eyes. 

“I just want to warn you, these are very graphic images. You need to prepare yourself, take a breath and when you’re ready, see if you recognize your papa in any of the pictures, alright?” 

Claire frowns, she’s not sure what the lady in front of her is talking about… until she opens the folder and gasps at the first image that meets her eye. The photograph shows a man in a hospital bed, with bruised and battered skin, his arms and legs have many cuts and there is a lot of blood on the sheets beneath him. His skin is tinged greyish, his lips are parted slightly and his eyes are partially open and glassy.

Claire realizes with a jolt that the man is dead. 

She slams the folder shut and turns away from the table, bending forward, she gulps in deep breaths, tears welling up in her eyes once more. Is she about to see a photograph of her papa like that? Distantly, she can feel the volunteer woman’s hand on her arm, rubbing up and down her skin comfortingly. She looks up and sees the sympathy in the woman's expression. 

“Do you know him?” urges the woman.

Claire shakes her head frantically, closing her eyes, more tears bleed down her face as she chokes out a distraught sounding, “No.”

_What if papa is in that book?_

“I know this is hard and you’re being so brave, but I need you to keep looking, can you do that for me?” 

Claire opens her eyes again and they instantly fall upon the once again open folder in front of her, a double page. Two new, pale and lifeless faces. One an older looking man, with a bloody gash across his chest and sheet that covers him from the waist down, where there is a clear rise in the blanket covering him that is his leg. One leg. The other a child, a boy no older than Jack. His face looks puffy and swollen. 

Her mind distorts the picture, it betrays her with images of what her brother, papa, and dad might look like if they were in that hellish folder. Pain stabs at her heart like a white-hot poker running her through and her stomach lurches, twisting and churning. 

Claire gags, suddenly turning away again to throw up. She heaves painfully and brings up her sorrow on the ground beside her. 

Openly sobbing as she wipes her mouth, she cries out, “I can’t, I can’t… Don’t make me.”

The volunteer is by her side in an instant, shushing her and wrapping an arm around her shoulder, “Alright, alright… that’s enough. It’s okay, you’re okay.”

Claire meets the woman’s eyes shakily and accepts the bottle of water she’s holding out to her gratefully, “I d-don’t know, them, those people… I don’t…” 

“It’s okay, just take a moment.” the volunteer nods encouragingly as Claire takes a sip of the water, “We’re just trying to keep our records straight, as you can see there is a lot going on, we are going to keep trying to help you find your papa.”

Claire frowns slightly, does that mean her papa might still be alive? She isn’t sure and is too afraid of the answer being no, to ask. She’ll hold on to the possibility for as long as she can. 

“You don’t have to look at any more pictures if you don’t want to. I know it’s upsetting for you, we will try to work out what’s happened and let you know when we have some information. In the meantime, you should stay close by, try and get some rest if you can. The lists are being updated all the time, so if you have other family members here that are currently missing, you can check there, and hopefully, something will turn up.” 

“Ok,” she mutters, “thank you.” 

Getting up unsteadily to her feet, she moves away from the woman, the images of those poor people who had lost their lives still burning behind her eyes. Instead of finding somewhere to rest, she heads directly for the lobby. She doesn’t want to dwell on the photographs in the folder she’d been shown, she doesn’t want to think about the fact that her papa could easily have been on the next page. She needs something else to think about, something to do, so she heads for the lists of names determined to check each and every one of them. 

She arrives at the lists and gapes in shock at how they had double, maybe even tripled in size since she and her papa had been brought in. Checking the list for people who were being treated, she sees her name, alongside her papa's, she keeps scanning the list for Jack and her dad’s names too. The flame of hope that had flickered to life upon spotting her own and her papa’s names, begins to burn out as she goes through name after name… finding no more, ‘Winchesters’ on the list. 

She reaches the end of the list feeling cold with despair and glances uneasily over to the next list… Dread filling her as she prepares to read the names of those who have died. 

_Reading a name has to be easier than looking at a picture._

_Come on, you can do this._

_Please, don’t be here papa. Please._

Feeling scared but resolved, she drags a rickety wooden chair up to the wall with the list covering it so she can see the top of the list which now reaches the ceiling. She begins reading all the names that are in English, sliding her finger slowly down the names one by one. Her hope reignites as she gets closer and closer to the end, with no sign of any of her family's names being added. 

_They could still be alive,_

_Papa could still be here, somewhere._

_And dad and Jack…_

_Please, just be alive… I miss you!_

Claire’s stomach growls and reminds her that she hasn’t eaten since the previous day. Feeling miserable, she winds her way back to the children’s tent to get something to eat. She sits alone at a table in the tent and slowly chews on some fruit, the movements of her jaw are automatic. She distantly registers the taste of orange in her mouth but her mind can’t seem to settle on anything other than a little boy, sitting alone across the room. He can’t be much older than her own younger brother, Jack. His face is pale and a little scratched, his eyes look puffy as though he has recently been crying, or unable to sleep. But he looks relatively calm and focussed as he colors.

Claire watches him, feeling a fresh hopeful warmth spread over her, he made it. Jack could make it. She barely notices the small sad smile that spreads over her face as the boy continues to work on his drawing… 

*

_“When will they be home?” Claire asked her uncle, excitedly. She was constantly fidgeting and could barely sit still, “I’m ready to meet my baby brother.”_

_“Very soon, sweetheart. Your dad texted me that they were leaving the hospital.” Sam answered, giving her a tight hug and a wide smile, “You’re going to be a wonderful big sister!”_

_Claire nodded in firm agreement, before holding up a picture of the sonogram that had been taken at the last doctor’s appointment and she stared at it critically with squinty eyes._

_“I just hope he looks better than he does in these pictures.”_

_Sam looked down at her and chuckled, “He’s going to be beautiful, just like you. You wait and see.”_

_Claire and Sam were busy watching Claire’s cartoons when the front door opened and Dean called through to the living room, “We’re home!”_

_Claire jumped off the couch immediately and ran to greet them. She threw herself into her papa’s arms and gave him a big hug as her dad passed them, smiling at her as he carried the baby into the house in his carrier._

_“He’s here! He’s here! Is he ok? Can I see him?” she asked as she practically bounced on the spot. She leaned almost completely out of her papa’s arms as she tried desperately to get a glimpse of the new baby. Her new baby brother. Cas shook his head fondly, smiling from ear to ear as he tried to keep his daughter from falling out of his arms._

_“Hang on, baby girl. Let me set him down in the living room first.” Dean said, holding in his laughter as he watched his little girl’s excitement._

_They all walked into the living room and greeted Sam. Dean set the baby carrier down on the floor so that Claire could see her brother._

_“Thanks for staying with Claire, Sam.” Dean reached out and gave his brother a pat on the shoulder._

_“Think nothing of it, we had a great time, didn’t we Claire?” Sam answered, before moving past Dean to look down at his new nephew over Claire's head._

_Claire looked up and nodded at her uncle, “Yes, we watched cartoons! You were ages!” Then, as though she couldn’t wait another moment, she turned back to the carrier and gently moved the blanket back to reveal her sleeping, squishy faced baby brother. “Oh,” she gasped dramatically, “he’s so tiny.”_

_Looking up at her two dads, Claire watched as Cas grinned proudly and looked at Dean, giving him a kiss on his cheek. Dean smiled down at his son and daughter and hugged Cas to his side._

_Dean knelt down on the floor and carefully took Jack out of the carrier and then got up to sit on the couch with the sleeping baby tucked in his arms. He glanced at Castiel, pointedly flicked his eyes over to their daughter and when Castiel gave a small nod, he turned back to Claire and speaking quietly, he asked, “Claire-bear, do you want to hold him?”_

_“Can I?” she asked, her eyes wide with wonder as she climbed up on the couch and sat next to her dad._

_“Remember how we practiced with your baby doll? Hold out your arms. Just like that, good girl. Now, hold him tight, but don’t squish him.”_

_“Make sure you keep your arm under his neck to support his head.”_

_Claire held out her arms to receive the baby. She wrapped her arms around him and tears filled her eyes. “ Oh, Daddy, I love him.”_

*

Claire wipes the tears from her eyes and looks down at the fruit she hasn’t finished. She knows that she needs to eat, but her stomach is in knots, she’s so worried about her family and frightened about being all alone. Slowly, she eats her snack and makes sure to drink some water, remembering with a pang how her papa always instructed her to eat plenty of fruit and drink water instead of soda. Besides, she isn’t sure when or what her next meal will be, so she’ll take what she can get. She hopes she’ll be able to have a nice meal with her family again and misses how Daddy and Papa would joke with each other when they were doing the dishes after dinner. 

Deciding that she doesn’t want to just sit there and think about things anymore, Claire gets up to take a walk around the hospital. Hoping beyond hope that maybe she might find her papa. She wanders around for a while, noticing how busy the place is and just how many people there are, workers and patients and families, all tired and looking desperate. When she goes upstairs, she comes across the little boy and his mother from the resort, from the billboard. She watches as they play and talk happily together. She feels both happy for them and jealous that they have found each other. 

_Why did he get to find his mom when I lost my papa?_

_Why can’t my family be ok?_

_I’m glad they found each other, I shouldn’t wish they hadn’t._

_Papa wouldn’t like that._

When she finally gets tired of being on her feet, she makes her way back to the children’s tent to look for a place to rest. She finds herself a blanket and a quiet place and to lie down, trying not to think about how she is all alone. She doesn’t realize that she has fallen asleep until a hand gently shakes her awake. She opens her eyes expecting to see her papa waking her up and is saddened when it is the younger lady volunteer instead. 

The volunteer smiles warmly at her, “Please, come with me?” 

“What is it?” Claire asks, not wanting to get her hopes up but sensing some excitement in the woman’s voice.

“Follow me and you’ll see.” The woman takes her hand and leads her into the hospital and upstairs. She leads her all along the upper floor to an area on the far side of the hospital. 

“I found him,” she says excitedly, as she pushes a curtain back to reveal Claire’s papa to her, “He was taken to surgery and we lost track of him.”

“You… you found my papa?” Tears of relief stream down Claire’s face as they walk up to his bedside. 

Castiel is sleeping and has an oxygen mask on his face, he looks pale and it upsets Claire to see him so fragile. But, she is so happy to see him that she runs to his bedside and reaches across him to give him a careful hug. Cas opens his eyes warily and sees Claire.

“Where the hell were you?” He asks weakly, his words muffled slightly from underneath his mask.

“Me? Where the hell were you!? You said that you weren’t going anywhere!” Claire sobs as she reaches for her papa’s hand, taking it and feeling the cool skin of his palm against her own. He is real, he is alive. Claire laughs through her tears, “You’re really here!” 

She hugs his hand to her face, careful not to disturb any of the wires connecting him to the bleeping machines around his bed, sobering she murmurs, “I can’t believe I found you.”

Castiel smirks at Claire using his words back at him and squeezes her hand gently in reassurance. 

“I thought …” Claire catches her breath, meeting his eyes guiltily, “I thought you died.”

“I’m so sorry baby-girl,” mutters Castiel, sounding remorseful and breathy. 

Claire raises his hand to her lips to press a kiss onto his knuckles and Castiel lifts his thumb out weakly to brush away the tears from her cheek. 

“They took him in for an urgent operation on his chest. He will need another operation on his leg sometime soon,” the volunteer says apologetically, “but he is doing much better now.” 

Claire smiles gratefully at the woman, as happy tears at being reunited with her papa curl over her lashes and splash onto Castiel’s hand. 

“Thank you,” she whispers, “thank you so much!” 

“It’s alright sweetheart, I’m sorry it took so long to work out what had happened.” the volunteer watches as Claire climbs carefully up onto the end of her papa’s bed and hugs her arm around his uninjured leg, “I’ll let you two get some rest now. Take care of your papa.” 

Claire closes her eyes and holds onto Castiel tightly, soon they both drift off into a more restful slumber. 

*

Claire wakes slowly with the feeling of something warm beside her, she opens her eyes at the comforting touch of a hand stroking through her hair. When she looks up, her papa is smiling warmly at her from under his mask. 

Cautiously, she untangles herself from her papa and clambers down from the bed. Leaning over the top end of the bed she kisses her papa’s cheek and tells him she's going to look for water but will be back soon. 

She peels her eyes from her papa’s face and walks quickly from the room in search of water, making sure to note the way back to his room in her head. While she is getting water at a supply table on the second floor, she looks down over the railing at the first floor and sees a man walking with his back to her, her heart skips a beat when she realizes he is wearing the same ugly swim trunks as her dad. 

_Could it be…?_

“Dad?” she mutters quietly to herself, not sure she believes what her eyes are seeing, but the man is moving away and the fear of him vanishing from view jolts her into action. She shouts out, loud and desperate, “DAD!?” 

Suddenly, she sets off sprinting down the stairs and in the direction she’d seen the man heading, she’s chasing after the man, calling out ‘Dad? Dad?’. But skids to a halt when she loses him in the crowd outside in front of the hospital. Her lungs are burning and her mind races… 

_Was that really him?_

_Is he here?_

_Where did he go?_

She yells for him repeatedly but no reply comes as she scans the people moving about outside the hospital. Whoever he was, he was gone. Feeling disappointed Claire turns back toward the hospital trying to decide whether or not to mention what she thought she had seen to her papa. 

_What if I was wrong?_

Before she makes up her mind, a voice breaks through her thoughts and brings her rocketing back into the moment…

The voice of a child yelling her name.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: This chapter mentions the death of a child.


	6. Chapter 6

The truck lurches over an uneven road as it leaves the shelter, Dean and Jack are still on board. It had been another dead end for Dean. He had not found Castiel or Claire on the shelters list, he tried not to let it show to his son but his mounting dread was dousing what remained of his hope. He lifted a hand to absently scratch at the bandage wrapped around his head. A woman at the shelter had been kind enough to change it for him and check the wound. It was clear that pain medicine was starting to run out at the small shelter and when the volunteer had offered Dean some, he had politely declined. His head hurt but he could look in any direction and see someone worse off than himself, he wouldn’t feel right taking medicine away from someone else who would need it more. Now was certainly not the time to be selfish with pain relief. But he hadn’t seen anyone being selfish, he hadn’t seen anyone using the situation to their advantage, in fact, Dean felt moved by every selfless act of kindness he witnessed going on around him. 

Yes, there was a lot of pain and sadness but strangers were helping each other. People were pulling together to get aid to those who need it. Childless mothers were comforting orphaned children. People who had never seen each other before were hugging and consoling each other. Groups of volunteers were working tirelessly to search for survivors and to help organise the hospital lists so people could look for their families. There are trucks filled with crates of water bottles dropping off supplies and offering people lifts to their next destination. 

Despite his worries for his family, Dean felt grateful to the people of Khao Lak. It was strangers that had offered him food for himself and his son, it was strangers that had wrapped his head in bandages, people he didn’t know and had no way of repaying had helped him. It was awe-inspiring how people had come together, how they had rushed in, sometimes putting themselves at risk to aid others. He hopes he will get the chance to tell Castiel about the amazing acts of kindness he was witnessing.

He tugs Jack closer to his side and kisses the top of his head whispering words of love and comfort. He wishes he had his phone with him, he wants so badly to call his brother again, to hear his voice and ask him if he had heard from Castiel or Claire. Maybe they had managed to get in touch with him, maybe Sam already knew where they were but was unable to reach Dean. 

_They could have already spoken to Sam_

_They could be fine, waiting for us to catch up and find them_

_Maybe we should have stayed in one place and told Sam where we were._

_We should have given Sam a list of places we were going to check._

_Shit, why didn’t I think of that before?_

Dean and Jack have been riding in the back of the truck for most of the day. Each time they stop at a shelter or a hospital Dean gets out and goes to check the list of names. He takes with him a scrap of paper that has the names of the lost loved ones of the others riding with them. He had been lucky once, at one of the shelters he happened to find the husband of one of the ladies on the truck. Even though it wasn’t his own family he was glad to see the reunion. Dean couldn’t hold back his tears as he watched the man and woman greet each other. He hoped it would be his and Jack’s ‘turn’ soon and that they would get to hug Castiel and Claire.

Dean is exhausted and his ribs hurt but he still maintains his buoyant attitude for Jack’s sake, even though he’s feeling more despondent each time they stop. He doesn’t want to give up on finding Castiel and Claire, but he fears that maybe they missed them somewhere along the line. He can’t help but think that Castiel might have made his way back to the resort, that thought is constantly on his mind, tormenting him. Each time they stop, he has a moment where he considers his next move, stay at the hospital or shelter they are at, find a truck going back to nearer the resort, or keep going… Each time, the choice gets harder. 

_What if we did miss them?_

_What if they were heading back to the resort?_

_No, I have to believe that we will find them._

_I have to find them._

They ride along the bumpy streets and continue to see people stranded along the sides of the road. People were traveling to find shelter and help, once or twice the truck they were on, would stop and pick someone new up when there was enough room. Everywhere he looks, Dean sees the dead and injured, he knows he will never forget the horrific injuries he has seen people suffer. He will never forget the image of people being covered with sheets of plastic. He is truly grateful that the other little boy on the truck with them is doing a good job of holding Jack’s attention. 

“Thank you, for watching Jack while I go into these places.” Dean says to the man sitting next to him, “I don’t want him to see too much, he is so young.” 

“It’s the least I can do with my leg so messed up. I can’t go in with you to check the lists. Besides, my boy gets to feel like he is helping by entertaining young Jack.” The man answers, looking down at the two boys who are sitting at their feet, talking quietly.

“He is helping. And so are you.” Dean replies with a small smile.

Dean watches the boys play together, using sticks as ‘action figures’ to keep themselves entertained. He marvels at how children seem to have a special way of dealing with the stress and strain of hard times, an uncanny way of finding joy in the most imaginative ways. Once again he finds himself wishing that he could spare Jack from having to go through all this horror. If only he could wave his hands and make it all go away. 

*

The truck finally jerks to a stop at a large hospital, there are several large military-style tents set up all around the main building. Dean can tell this is by far the busiest place they have visited. People are congregating in large groups around the list boards, struggling to see the hundreds of names that are scribbled on them. 

“Okay,” Dean says, sounding far more determined than he feels. He climbs carefully out of the back of the truck, “I’m going to go in and check this place. I’ve got the list.” He nods at his fellow passengers as he holds up a scruffy looking sheet of paper. Then he turns his attention to the driver, his eyes pleading as he begs, “Please, just give me ten extra minutes here, this is a big place, there are a lot of people and lots of names on those lists to check through.”

This is the last hospital in this region and Dean tries not to think about what it might mean if he doesn’t find Castiel and Claire here. He contemplates just taking Jack with him and letting the truck go on ahead, but again his mind wavers at the thought of losing his ride, the further they travel in-land, the safer Jack is, but then on the other side of that, what happens when the next stop is the airport. Dean knows it’s only a matter of time before holidaymakers who have found their families will want to go home, he’d feel the exact same way. 

The driver meets his pleading gaze with understanding and pity. He nods in agreement as a few of the passengers grumble about wanting to get to the next shelter. Everyone is tired and uncomfortable, and desperate to keep moving, so Dean thanks them for waiting and promises that he will be quick.

“Jack, you be good and stay with your friend.” Dean kisses Jack on his forehead and turns to the large hospital. It’s daunting how many people are filing in through the doors, how many people are standing around outside, waiting for loved ones, or waiting to see a doctor. The space outside the doors is completely overcrowded and Dean worries about how long it will take him just to get inside, let alone begin his search. 

_Man this place is huge._

_There are so many people._

Dean walks past the tents near the street, peeking in and seeing that they are set up as triage areas, he moves on, walking up the front steps of the main hospital. He weaves through the mass of people, repeatedly having to confirm that he doesn’t need treatment, he just needs to check the lists. He goes inside the hospital and takes a few minutes walking around looking at the patients hoping that just maybe he will see Cas. Maybe their eyes will meet and he’ll get to throw his arms around his husband and the search will be over. He’d hold him so tightly and pepper kisses to his face, he’d tell him how much he loves him and that Jack is safe and that it’s over now, they can go home. 

Dean climbs the stairs to the second level, his legs moving of their own accord and walks through one of the wards of the hospital checking bed to bed before he goes to search the long list of names. His eyes travel from bed to bed on an overflowing ward, he takes in the sight of every man, woman and child, every grotesque injury, each of the few hauntingly empty beds. His legs are tried and his eyes are worse, worn out from squinting at barely legible scribbles on patient charts but he pushes on. Something, way down deep in his core, forces one foot in front of the other, it keeps his eyes scanning the sickly faces of the injured, it keeps him going. 

Love. 

He thinks of Castiel, of Claire, of Jack waiting for him in the truck. Of the faith his son has in him that he will find their missing family. He thinks of Sam, and how he had sounded so certain that Dean would find Castiel and Claire and that he would bring them all home, safely. He thinks of holding his children in his arms, hugging them close to him as Castiel reads them bedtime stories, or tells them tales of how he and their dad met. He thinks of Claire, and how he knows she is going to grow into a strong woman, (a policewoman if she gets her way) and Jack, who desperately wants to be a doctor and help people. He thinks of how he and Castiel had spent many an evening, talking late into the night, dreaming up ideas of what it might be like to watch their kids grow up, fall in love, and start their own families. 

He thinks of all these things… as he passes by the dirty grey curtain surrounding Castiel’s bed, completely unaware that his husband, the love of his life, is fighting for his own just beyond it. 

*

Each time Jack has to watch his dad walk away from the truck, leaving him alone with people he doesn’t know, the fear that it will be the last time he sees him creeps in. It settles like ice in his belly and makes him shiver, despite the heat of the afternoon sun. He wants to ask his dad to stay with him, or let him look for Claire and Papa too. He wants to tell him he could help, and he would… If it weren’t for the injuries he knows he’d see. 

His dad had managed to shield him from a lot, but not everything. He’d seen through the cracks of fingers covering his eyes, bodies, and blood. So. Much. Blood. It made him feel scared and wobbly like his legs had turned to jelly. So, he didn’t argue, when his dad told him to stay in the truck, because he was scared of what else he might see. 

Luckily, the other boy in the truck, who has become a friend to him, keeps him distracted, telling him stories and making up games. Jack likes him, he isn’t hurt or scary, he is kind and funny. But even his silly jokes can’t banish the fear that one of these times the truck is going to leave, and his dad won’t have returned, then he would really be alone. 

He misses his papa and Claire and wants to be with his dad when he finds them. He knows his dad will find them, because he promised and his dad has never broken a promise to him, ever. As he watches his dad walk away, that scared feeling comes back to him, like a hose of ice-cold water filling him up inside. He has that terrible feeling happening in his belly and he realizes that it's not just fear. 

With wide eyes, he looks over at his friend and whispers urgently, “I have to pee,” wiggling about and looking uncomfortable. 

“You should wait until your dad comes back, so you don’t get lost. Can you hold it?” The other boy says, standing up to look about them for Dean. 

Jack fidgets and holds himself as he tries to keep from wetting his pants and whines, “I _really_ gotta go, I _have_ been holding it.” He jumps up and starts to clamber out of the truck, “I can’t wait! They won’t let them leave without me, will they?”

The older boy looks worriedly at Jack and back up at his dad, “It’s okay, I’ll take him across the street to those trees. I promise to keep an eye on him.”

“Don’t go too far and make sure you hurry back.” The man says patting his son on the arm as he climbs over him.

The other boy scrambles out of the back of the truck and runs with Jack across the road, weaving around the throngs of people, to a small grove of trees. Jack relieves himself as the other boy keeps an eye between him and the truck. The boy waves to his dad, who waves back, clearly relieved that they had stayed within his line of sight.

Turning back toward the truck, Jack looks over at the hospital, he’s never seen so many people all cramped into one place before. He is stunned by the sheer volume of the sounds around him, people talking and crying, vehicles moving about, even someone on a loudspeaker trying to direct groups of people into the right areas. Looking at all the traffic on the road and in front of the hospital he’s frightened and amazed and interested in what is happening around him. His dad had kept him from watching much of what was going on while they were riding in the truck. But now his eyes drink in the sights and sounds around him, wishing that he could help somehow.

He watches in awe as doctors and nurses weave through the crowd, helping severely wounded people into the hospital quickly, and settling those whose injuries are less serious into appropriate waiting areas. He wants to be like them someday, saving people, healing wounds.

He is pulled from his thoughts and back to reality when he hears someone yelling for their dad, he turns on the spot. His eyes darting quickly over the many faces in the crowd as he tries to pinpoint the source of the noise, he looks across the street and his mouth drops open in shock. His eyes widen, then blink rapidly as though disbelieving what his brain is telling him is true... 

He stands there for a moment, frozen; he can’t believe what he is seeing. 

*****

She’d been fighting the urge to get a drink for the past hour, scared to leave her papa’s side again. But now it’s hot and her throat is dry, so Claire gently pats her papa’s hand and says, “I’m going to get us some water. Please, don’t go anywhere?”

Castiel gives her a small nod and loosely squeezes her hand to show he understood.

Regretfully, she walks away from his bed. Mentally mapping her way so she can get back to him as quickly as possible. She remembers that there is a table with water bottles near the stairs, so she heads that way, weaving gracefully through the thronging crowds of people. When she makes it to the table, she reaches out for a water bottle and her eyes glimpse a flash of color over the banister, she narrows her gaze to focus on the people on the floor below. There are so many people, but her eyes seek out the bright colors that had caught her attention. Her breath catches in her throat as she spots a man, wearing the same ugly swimming trunks her dad had been wearing, walking away from her on the level below. 

With her heart in her mouth, she takes off at a sprint, chasing after him and yelling loudly, “Dad? Dad!?” It’s too noisy inside and the man doesn’t hear her.

*

_Suddenly, she’s five years old again, lost and alone in a huge supermarket. She had been playing and not paying attention to where her dad was heading. The next thing she knew, she was all alone on the cereal aisle where she had been looking at the cartoon characters on the front of the boxes. She’d turned to show her daddy a picture and been faced with a tall stranger, who had looked down at her with a confused frown, as though she shouldn’t have been there. Frightened, she hurried away from the stranger and had wandered through the aisles looking for her dad._

_“Daddy? Where are you?” She called out as she walked alone through the big store. Everything seemed so big, and she didn’t recognise anyone there. It felt like she was searching for her dad for hours. She wondered if he had left her there, maybe he had forgotten about her? She decided to go outside and try to look for his car but she wasn’t even sure where the doors were. Tears welled up in her eyes at the thought of being left behind._

_After what felt like forever… she heard her father calling out for her._

_“Claire? Oh my god, Claire! I thought I lost you, baby. You can’t wander off from me, sweetheart.”_

_Claire began to cry with relief as soon as she saw her father, “I thought I lost you, too, Daddy.”_

_Her dad had scooped her up into his arms and hugged her tightly, warning her not to leave his side again, and whispering how sorry he was that he hadn’t known where she was._

_“You’re ok now, baby. I’ve got you.”_

*

This is so much worse.

She runs outside, stopping at the end of the walkway, screaming for her dad and searching the crowd when suddenly she hears someone calling her name. She stops yelling for her dad and listens. There it is again, her name being yelled by a young voice. Claire can’t believe her ears, it sounds like Jack. 

She whips around, eyes zooming over blurred faces until they freeze, on the flushed face of her baby brother. Her heart fills with relief until it feels like it might spring free of her chest in an effort to get to Jack. 

“Jack!” She yells and takes off toward him. They are both sprinting toward each other, through a parting crowd, shouting out at the top of their lungs.

“Claire! Claire!” 

“JACK! Oh my god, Jack!” 

They meet on the edge of the road and grab each other tightly, their arms wrapping them together in a crushing hug. They are both crying and laughing because they never thought they’d see each other again and the relief that has filled them overflows down their cheeks. Claire kisses Jack on top of his messy head. 

“Jack, I thought I’d never see you again.” Claire laughs through her sobs as she continues to squeeze her little brother. She pulls back to look him over for any sign of injury, “You’re okay! You’re really okay! I can’t believe you’re here! Jack, you’re okay, you’re okay! Jack, I’ve got you.” 

Jack latches onto his big sister with all his strength, tears streaming down his cheeks, “Claire, Claire, you’re here. You’re really here.”

Claire kneels down on the ground to Jack’s level and looks him in the eye, her voice shaking as she asks with desperation, “Jack, where’s Dad?”  
  


*

Dean shakes his head, feeling that familiar crushing disappointment and frustration, the list was so crowded that he had a hard time getting close enough to read it. He didn’t see Castiel or Claire’s names in the bits that he could see, he didn’t find anyone from the short list in his pocket. It was another dead end.

He is almost back to the truck when he thinks he hears his daughters name, there’s no way that’s what he heard though, right? Stopping, he turns back toward the hospital, looking around at the crowd. He hears it again and frowning he moves toward the sound. He scans the faces along the street until he spots his kids. Both of his kids, together. Holding each other and sobbing, Claire is here. She’s alive. She and Jack are together... He freezes for a moment, as though the wonderful image before his eyes might disappear if he so much as moves a muscle. He blinks, they are still there….

_She’s really here… Claire!_

Finally, putting his trust in what he sees he takes off toward them yelling. 

“Claire!” Dean cries out, stumbling slightly as he runs toward his children. 

Claire's face turns, her eyes meet his and her whole body goes rigid, as she sucks in a shocked gasp. 

“DAD!” She yells. She stands up, not wanting to let go of her brother, she tugs him along with her, as she heads toward her Dad. 

Claire and her dad slam into each other, and Dean grasps her in his arms, picking her up and hugging her to his chest, as Jack stands beside them, wiping his tears from his face. Dean cries as he holds his little girl, kissing her tear-stained face and silently thanking whatever God might be listening for bringing her back to him. Jack comes up and holds onto Dean’s waist.

“Claire, Claire, Claire,” Dean mutters his daughter's name, as though it is sacred, into her hair as he hugs her, “I can’t believe it, I can’t believe it! I love you, I love you so, so much! Are you alright? You’re not hurt? You’re ok, aren’t you?” 

“I’m ok,” sobs Claire against her dad's shoulder, “I love you!”

When Dean finally puts his daughter down, he turns to Jack.

“Jack, well done! You found Claire.” He sobs as he musses his son’s hair fondly, “Thank you.” 

“Dad,” Claire says sobering at the thought of her papa, “Papa is here, too. I can take you to him."

Dean stares at his daughter, mouth dropping open in surprise as hundreds of thoughts fly across his mind. 

_What? Castiel is here?_

_Holy shit, Cas is here!_

_Wait… Why isn’t he with her?_

_Why would he leave her alone?_

_Something must be wrong._

The spark of a smile he’d had at her words fades into serious concern. Castiel wouldn’t let their daughter wander around by herself… not unless he couldn’t go with her. Dean’s eyes flick between his two children, they were both here and they were fine… 

Was his luck about to run out? 

Taking Jack’s hand, he nods to Claire and she leads the way to Castiel’s room. 

Dean looks down at the kids and tells them, “Wait here, while I go in and talk to your papa for a minute.”

Claire holds Jack’s hand and they sit just outside Castiel’s room while Dean goes in first. She hugs him tightly against her while they wait...

*

Dean swallows down his nerves as he pushes back the curtain. His eyes widen with alarm at how deathly ill and small his husband looks. Castiel is lying on the bed, as still as stone. His eyes are closed, his nose and mouth are covered by an oxygen mask which is misted up by Castiel’s shallow, labored breaths. Dean can tell just by looking that his skin is white-wash pale beneath it, apart from the bruises, of which there were many; angry purple and blueish-black marks litter his skin. 

_Jesus, babe..._

_What happened to you?_

He takes a small uncertain step into the room, his eyes darting around and taking in all the beeping machines surrounding Castiel’s bed, the thin tubes going into his arms, the heart monitor taped to his chest… just above the fresh-looking bandages from his surgery. Dean has to take a moment to compose himself, he draws a deep breath of air into his lungs, feeling it grounding him. Castiel is here, he is alive… but only just. 

Dean reaches out, his trembling fingertips landing gently on the back of Castiel’s hand. His skin is cold and he doesn’t seem to register Dean being there at all. Tears swell and fall from Dean’s eyes as he lowers himself into the chair by his husband's bed. He takes hold of Castiel’s hand and grips it lightly. 

“Cas?” he croaks, needing to clear his throat he turns away and coughs a little against his shoulder, he tries again. His voice barely audible as he whispers tenderly, “Cas?” 

_Cas, please, please hear me._

But Castiel does not stir. Dean lowers his gaze to the floor, shaking his head, his next words come out a little stronger and almost as a prayer. 

“Please Cas? I need you… I need you to wake up, to be ok. The kids are here, they’re safe, but they… we are all worried about you.” Dean squeezes his eyes shut and more tears fall, he has trouble forming coherent words as he begs his husband to wake up. “We need you to come back to us, alright? I need you to come back. You can’t leave me like this. Please, open your eyes, please wake up, please, please, please… just… say something? Anything…” 

Dean’s eyes fly open when he feels the hand, his fingers are wrapped around twitch, his gaze snaps back up to his husband’s beautiful face and his heart stops when he hears the dry, raspy tone of Castiel’s voice...

“... Dean?” 

Dean has to swallow down the urge to jump up and throw his arms around Cas, the need to be closer to him is almost physically painful. Instead, he quickly wipes the tears from his face and scrambles to his feet to lean over the bed to gaze into Castiel’s eyes. The usual sky blue shine that greets him there is duller now and surrounded by a ring of irritated red mist. 

“Babe?” he gasps out shakily, “Hey, can you hear me?”

“Dean..? Am, am I...?” Castiel’s voice is shaky and small, and his face screws up with pain and fear as he breathes out a haunted sounding, “Are we... dead?”

Dean’s eyes go wide and he shakes his head, “No! No, Cas. You are not dead,” he says firmly, eager for Castiel to believe him, to wake up properly, “you are right here, with me.” 

“What about Claire? And Jack? W-we can’t leave them, Dean they’re only b-babies…. They need-d us.” He wheezes out slowly between labored breaths, his hand is weakly clutching at Dean’s arm. As if he is trying to get Dean to understand how desperately he needs the kids to be ok. 

Dean’s heart feels heavy at how ‘out of it’ Castiel appears to be. His eyes are open, but they are unfocused and in the moments that they do appear to settle on his, they don’t seem to hold much faith. It almost breaks Dean to look into those eyes and see such hopelessness. 

“We are not dead, Cas… We’re in the hospital. Ok?” Dean sighs, looking worried eyes over Castiel’s bandages, “You got hurt, really badly hurt and they had to operate but you’re going to be alright, you hear? You will be alright. They are going to fix you up, Cas. You’ll be fine, and we’ll go home, all of us. Me, you, the kids… We’re all going to go home and this will just be a horrible memory.” 

“Dean... No. I can’t… I’m tired...” 

“Hey! Hey, none of that… Yes, you can and we’ll go home. I’ll take care of you Cas like I promised. I will always take care of you! I’ll do whatever it takes, okay?” Dean scrubs his free hand over the back of his neck, “Cas… they have to… You hurt your leg, do you remember that? Well, they need to operate on you again, to fix it. But we’re all going to be right here when you wake up.”

Castiel’s eyes flicker and close, sending stray tears rolling down his face, he turns away from Dean slightly as he mutters, “Just… t-take, take them home… Dean. Take them home.”

Dean’s eyes widen with frightened panic, his throat seems to tighten and even though Castiel’s not looking at him, he shakes his head vehemently, “I am not leaving here without you! Do you understand me? I’m not going anywhere. I just got you back, I’ll never lose you again.” Dean knows he sounds desperate, but he doesn’t care, he would walk over white-hot coals to get Castiel home safely. 

“They n-need y-you.” stutters Castiel, his words muffled by the mask that still covers his face. 

“They need _us_!” says Dean, he can feel the anger burning through him at the idea that Cas was giving up, “You don’t get to give up on us, Cas. We haven’t given up on you, we never will! You just have to keep fighting, a little longer, okay?”

Castiel opens his eyes narrowly to meet Dean’s intense gaze, he smiles sadly and murmurs, “I love you.” 

“I love you, too, Cas. But don’t you dare start saying your goodbyes! I mean it, I can’t do this alone. I need you! Please… please don’t leave me?” 

Castiel’s eyes close tiredly as he gives Dean’s hand a gentle squeeze.

Dean sniffs, and straightens up, gently placing Castiel’s hand back on the bed and wincing at the shallow whine his husband makes when he releases his hold on him.

“It’s ok, it’s ok. I’m not going anywhere, it’s just that there are two wonderful people waiting outside the room, who desperately want to see you.”

Castiel lets out a happy sounding sigh and Dean wipes his face before moving away from the bed to get their children. He takes a breath to calm himself before he brings the kids in. He hopes that Castiel seeing them will give him more motivation to fight.

Jack is crying and looks uncertain as he gazes up at Dean, “Daddy…?”

“Hey, Jack, your papa is going to be okay. He’s just very tired right now.” Dean kneels down and hugs Jack, “Why don’t you go and say hello?”

They move closer to the bed together and Dean taps Cas’s hand gently, “Cas, look, Jack’s here to see you, too.” Dean leans down to pick Jack up so that he can see his papa. 

“J-Jack, m-my good boy,” Castiel whispers as he opens his eyes to look up longingly at his son.

“Hi, Papa. Please, get better? I love you.” Jack begs him and he looks away to cry on his dad’s shoulder. 

Claire is combing the hair back off of Castiel’s forehead as she worriedly looks down at him. She glances at her dad, clutching his hand as she whispers, “He seems so much weaker now, Dad.” 

“He’s going to pull through this, Claire-bear. I have faith in him.” Dean tells her, not sure if he is trying to convince his daughter or himself. 

A nurse comes to Castiel’s bedside and gives the family a small sorrowful smile. “The doctors are ready for him in surgery. They are going to operate on his leg.”

“Is he strong enough for surgery right now?” asks Dean, before he can stop himself. He wishes he hadn’t asked that in front of Jack and Claire. 

Meeting his eyes, the nurse gives him an encouraging smile and says, “We will do everything we can, for him...”

Dean sees her eyes drop to the faces of his children before looking back up to him, she steps away and Dean puts Jack down to follow her.

He leans in close to hear her whisper, “There is always a risk and he is very weak, but if we wait any longer, there is a chance they may not be able to save his leg.” 

Dean meets the nurse's eyes with fear, but knowing that Claire and Jack are listening, he just nods his understanding and they all follow as Castiel is wheeled away on his bed. The watch, each holding their breath as he is taken behind swinging doors into the operating room. 

“Please, wait here?” The nurse asks gently. 

Dean looks through the small window in the door as they take Castiel further into the room. He stands there, mouth slack, body numb and he doesn’t move again until they are out of sight. 

Sitting down on the floor just outside the doors, Dean and his two brave children wait. 

_I can’t believe I might lose him, I only just found him._

_Please let him come through the surgery okay._

_What would happen… If Castiel loses a leg…_

_We’d get through it. I’d help him._

_That wouldn’t break us._

Dean pulls Jack and Clarie closer to him and they all hug each other and quietly cry out the relief of finding each other, as well as the worry for Castiel. Dean presses comforting kisses on to the tops of both of their heads and whispers encouraging words. Words he wished he was more sure of. 

“Your papa will be okay, he’ll be so happy to see you both when he wakes up and then, well… Then we can all go home, together.” 

Painfully long hours pass. Jack and Claire drift off to sleep against Dean’s side, their quiet breathing a constant and comforting reminder that they are both with him, that they are both safe. 

_I have my babies back._

_Thank you, thank you._

While waiting for Castiel to come out of surgery, Dean’s thoughts run wild. His mind goes through every possible version of events that could unfold, the good, and the bad. He thinks about how they could, they could all get to go home. Castiel could come out of that room, patched up, and wake with a smile as he gazes up at his family all gathered around his bed. 

_It could happen, he could be okay._

_He will be okay…_

_But, what if he’s not..._

_What will I do without him, I can’t lose him._

Dean thinks that this, the waiting now, is possibly the hardest part. Castiel was there, right in front of him, speaking to him. He’d held his hand and heard his voice and it had filled him full of hope, like warm air filling a balloon… Only now, that air had been allowed to escape again and he had shriveled back up with fear and doubt as soon as Castiel had been taken from his sight. 

_Did I say everything I needed to say?_

_Did I tell him enough how much I love him?_

_Did I say the right things?_

_I wish I could have kissed him…_

_I wish he hadn’t of needed that stupid fucking mask._

_I wish we’d never come here._

_Why the fuck did I bring us here… this is all my fault._

_If he dies…. it will be my fault._

_I can’t lose him…_

_Please!?_

He thinks about how much he wants to just get up, and walk into that room. Just to make sure that Cas is really still there. He thinks about how he is putting his trust in strangers, putting Castiel’s life in the hands of strangers, not being able to do anything to help… Dean cries silent tears, trying not to wake his resting children. 

More time passes. Dean must have fallen asleep because the next thing he knows, the doors are opening and Castiel’s bed is being wheeled back out of the room. With round, frightened eyes, he looks up at the nurse for answers…

She smiles. 

All the tension he had been carrying in his body, drops away, “He’s… he’s okay?” 

“He’s going to be just fine, you’ve got a real fighter on your hands, haven’t you?” she says fondly, “We’ll just get him comfortable in his room and then you can go in and wait for him to wake up. It will be good for him if you're there when he comes round.” 

Dean turns to look down at the peaceful faces of his children, so grateful that he will be waking them with good news, he carefully nudges them and smiles as he says, “Papa is out of surgery, he’s going to be okay! Let’s go back to his room so we can be there when he wakes up, okay?” 

They have to wait about an hour before Castiel wakes up after the operation, but compared to how long he was in surgery it felt like nothing. When he does he’s a little loopy from the medicines the doctors had given him but he looks better than he did before the surgery. Dean can tell just from his cheeks, which hold a little more color now and it fills him with relief. Castiel is also no longer on oxygen and his breathing is that much better that he doesn’t require a mask any longer. 

“Dean?” Cas mumbles, opening his eyes and looking around.

“I’m here, babe. I’m right here.” Dean leans down and plants a meaningful kiss on his forehead, whispering to him before pulling away, “You did so good Cas, so good.”

“Papa?” Claire and Jack both say at the same time. 

Claire stands on her tiptoes to lean over the bed and give her papa a kiss on his cheek.

“Me too! Daddy, I wanna give Papa a kiss, too.” Jack exclaims and Dean smiles as he lifts him so he can kiss his papa, too. 

“You’re all here…” says Castiel weakly, “My family.”

“We wouldn’t be anywhere else,” says Dean, adding with a cheeky wink, “We kinda like you, you know? Just a little bit.”

Castiel smiles, “I like you too.”

“So, don’t ever do that again,” says Dean shaking his head at his husband, “‘cause we need you.” 

*

The next morning brings with it a man from the insurance company who has come to assist them. He is talking to them as they are being loaded into a van and taken to the airport. He explains that they are being taken back to the US and straight to a hospital there, so Cas can be checked over and have time to heal. Castiel is loaded carefully onto the plane still on a hospital bed, he is still very weak but recovering well from surgery.

Once they are all seated safely and just before the plane is set to take off, Dean uses a phone the insurance man loans him to call his brother, “Hey Sam, we’re all fine and… we’re coming home.”


End file.
